


Too Hot for Words

by hellbells



Series: Tales from Tony's Black Book [16]
Category: NCIS, Stargate SG-1
Genre: Alternate Universe, Explicit Sexual Content, M/M, Tony-centric
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-25
Updated: 2018-03-19
Packaged: 2019-01-23 01:47:12
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 23,329
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12495736
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hellbells/pseuds/hellbells
Summary: Tony would never believe a simple beach game would lead to the love of his life and even a trip to the stars but it did.





	1. 1: We'll always have Italy

**Episode 1: We’ll always have Italy**  
  


Holidays were simply a marvellous idea. Daniel knew how to speak twenty-three spoken languages and that was the best word he could come up with to describe how he felt.  He was lying on a beach without a care in the galaxy ( _ not _ a mistaken word) nor was it an exaggeration in this case.  Daniel had, alongside the other members of his team, fought back the threat of the System Lord, Ba’al, in his latest attempt to once again enslave Earth. His reward for saving the world - was a holiday to any place he named.  

There was only one place he could think of on Earth. Daniel had chosen Italy as it was a great place to unwind and the culture was oh so rich, especially for an archeologist/linguist. 

However, right now he wasn’t exploring ruins or museums, he was lying down enjoying the sun. The beach was immaculate and there was a serious game of beach volleyball in his line of sight.  Much to Daniel’s disappointment - they weren’t on a nudist beach.  _ Shame.    _ Daniel could see there was a level of skill here that spoke of natural athleticism.  Yes, the men and the women playing the game were gorgeous - to Danny, it seemed like you had to reach a certain level of attractiveness to be allowed onto the beach.  Why his inner thoughts sounded like Jack all of a sudden he didn’t know. Perhaps that was another reason why he needed a break.

There was one player in particular who’d caught his attention. It was a tall male, who was in terrific shape but his body showed a few too many scars. This wasn’t a professional sportsman. Daniel would guess soldier or law enforcement, by the way, he carried himself and as he didn’t see dog tags that left law enforcement.

Daniel’s musings were distracted by a voice from above him. Christ, Jack would have his head about his current lack of situational awareness. It was the guy he’d been staring at standing above him. 

“I’m too gorgeous for you to just keep staring at me like that, or you know, you could buy me a coffee.”

Daniel didn’t hear an Italian accent like he’d suspected but rather an American one.  He didn’t know why he couldn't resist rising to sarcasm, perhaps it was a built-in reflex from having worked with O’Neill for so long.  “You're very sure of yourself.”

The man smirked at him and Danny knew he was in trouble. Gorgeous guy, lean muscular legs, strong built torso and those full lips and eyes were so good that Danny wouldn’t be sure which deity he should thank -  _ and he knew a lot of them _ . “I get paid to be observant and you either want me, or you are compiling a dossier on me for your boss.”

Daniel chuckled recognising that type of paranoia. It could only belong to a Federal Agent. “Which of the alphabet agencies do you belong to?”

“NCIS. Anthony DiNozzo.” The cute guy introduced himself.

Daniel smiled at him and stood up so they could continue to chat. He offered his hand but found himself wishing it was something more than his hand. “Doctor Daniel Jackson.  You are a long way from, home Agent DiNozzo.”

Tony smile changed to something more charming and relaxed.  “It’s Tony. So, coffee?”

Daniel was far too intelligent to refuse him a coffee date. He suggested a bistro in town and a time that would give both men a chance to change and look presentable.

 

~*~

Tony walked through the crowds effortlessly, making his way towards his date.  He wasn’t normally brave enough to go after the men who caught his eye but being in Italy had given him the nudge he needed. It wasn’t like they’d run into anyone from the office. In truth, it was more than that. He’d recently, after his run-in with Israel and Mossad, decided to re-evaluate his life and not let fear stop him from anything. If there was one thing that the shootings, plague, car-bombs and Mossad Ninja’s had taught him - time was fleeting and he should seize each moment. 

Tony saw Daniel already seated at a table outside. He was aware of the cafe as he visited it for breakfast each morning after his morning run.  The cafe was perfect - one for true coffee lovers.

Tony moved to take his seat opposite his date.  “Good to see you again, Doctor Jackson.”

The linguist wrinkled his nose at the formality. “Just Daniel or Danny please.” 

“As you wish, Danny.” Tony replied and they ordered their coffees, both men using Italian out of politeness. 

Tony sipped his coffee savouring the perfect taste. He could admit to having a love for fine coffee after years of having to cope with the road-tar that Gibbs tended to drink. “You gotta love the coffee here.”   
  
Danny nodded. “Not just the coffee. I love the history, the people, the language.” He blushed. “Sorry, it’s the archaeologist in me.”   
  
Tony shook his head. “Don’t apologise for what you love, Doc. It’s great to hear the enthusiasm and it’s obvious you have a passion for it.”   
  
Daniel could hear the way he trailed off at the end of his statement. “But?”   
  
Tony bit his lip but figured something like this should be gotten out of the way early. “Well, I am wondering why you’re wearing Air-Force tags?”

Daniel chuckled as that was some sight. “You did say you were observant. What about I just say  _ classified _ .”   
  
Tony was even more curious now but he did understand words like classified and he could see how tense it made his date. “Sure thing. I get it you know - so don’t freak out, Danny.”   
  
Danny did let out a small sigh of relief. “You would be surprised at how many dates have stormed out saying they couldn’t be with someone who didn’t trust them.”   
  
Tony rolled his eyes. “Well, they were idiots and didn’t understand something like a non-disclosure agreement. To your great fortune, I’ve signed enough of them to understand. Feel free to share what you can or tell me NDA and it ends. There is no way I want someone as cute as you frowning.”   
  
Danny had a look on his face like he wasn’t too sure Tony was real. That was okay, Tony did understand more than he knew. He chose to distract Danny and steer the conversation away from work. “So apart from Italy, what are your other hobbies?”   


Daniel responded, grateful as hell for the change of subject. “Museums, books, languages, and hiking. You?”   
  
Tony grinned. “Movies, I’m a huge fan of them and have an extensive library so be prepared for me to bore you with useless trivia. Oh, and sports and music in general although I am Italian enough to adore the opera too.”

Daniel chuckled as he finished his coffee and ordered another.  _ It really was great coffee,  _ the beans had a distinct hazelnut note. “Well, I can put up with movie trivia if you can put up with historical trivia.”   
  
Tony clinked their coffee cups. “Deal.”   
  
The conversation continued to flow easily and Tony didn’t want to end their date. He was relieved to notice that Daniel seemed just as reluctant. “You don’t want to say goodbye anymore than I do?” 

Daniel smiled with relief. “No, I don’t.” 

Tony was a fixer. There had to be a solution. An idea struck. His enthusiasm growing for the idea with every passing moment. “Why not let’s make a deal - you show me one thing you love from Italy and I will do the same in return?” 

Daniel liked the idea but then bit his lip. He was well aware that he was a bit of a geek and had said as much this past hour but he knew it was not everyone’s cup of tea.  “Are you sure? I mean being an archaeologist I would love to visit the Vatican Museums.” 

Tony guessed that one of Daniel’s friends would tease Danny good-naturedly about his intelligence. He squeezed Danny’s hand so he knew he had his whole attention.  “Danny, I want to see what you love and I am sure your enthusiasm will be enough to carry me through even if I might be bored.  And how can I judge, I want you to see La Boheme with me.” 

Daniel had a soft smile because Tony had shared his passion for music.  He could guess that wasn’t something that everyone got to see.  He sensed that Tony guarded his heart as strongly as he guarded his more ancient books.  “I would be glad to.”

Tony stood up reluctantly but was brave enough to kiss Daniel’s cheek. “Deal. Tomorrow at nine I’ll meet you at the museum?”   
  
Daniel was grinning, not believing his good luck. “Deal.”   
  
He watched Tony waltz down the street and didn’t bother to hide his staring at his ass.  _ Italy really was a good idea.  _

  
~*~ 

At the Vatican Museum, Tony and Danny walked around and soon ended up linking hands.  Daniel was telling him all about the most interesting facts about the figures depicted. Tony was grinning fondly when Danny asked. “What?”

Tony shook his head but did explain. “I was just thinking if any of my history professors were like you ... I would never have picked Phys. Ed for my first degree.”

Danny smirked at Tony and filed away the comment to ask about which degrees he now had.  He adored the fact that Tony turned the idea of jocks on its head, just like he was turning the idea of what an egghead acted like. “Is this a kink thing? I thought that was a fourth date kind of thing?”

Tony slyly grinned at him. “You can be my  _ professor  _ whenever you like, Dr. Jackson.”

Jackson shook his head, thinking his reaction to Tony calling him that may get embarrassing in public, especially the Vatican. He played it cool, he’d been friends with Jack too long for anything else. “Sure thing, let’s go to the opera first. Damn, I need to buy a suit for that.”

Tony was glad only his mind went to dirty places at Danny’s comment. He could imagine Vance’s reaction if he’d got in trouble for lewd behaviour around the Vatican of all places. In his defense, not that it would stand up in court, Daniel was extremely hot. Tony had planned on buying a new suit this trip anyway. “Well, we are in one of the suit capitals of the world.  Let’s both go.”

~*~

Daniel was never so glad for the paychecks they got for saving the world.  Danger money for when you save the whole world has a  **lot** of zeros. He’d give suit shopping one thing, it was a fantastic excuse to see Tony in his boxers. The trip had become intriguing as they one-upped the game and chose what the other’s suit would look like. Daniel chose a grey prince-of-wales material that brought out the green in Tony’s eyes.  Tony in return chose a Miami blue pinstripe suit. 

The tailors had initially bemoaned the time in which they had to design the suits until Tony had said in his most snobby voice.  “Such a shame, my uncle, Clive Paddington, was telling me how good this shop was. I shall have to inform how the service has declined recently as I would hate for him to waste his time with a trip to Rome. He’ll have to stick to Saville Row.” 

“You’re a Paddington?” The tailor asked, paling at the potential insult he’d given and how it could hurt his business.

Tony smiled at him. “The Italian-American branch.” 

Daniel watched in amazement as such a simple exchange seemed to kick their customer service up into high gear.  “Should I ask?” 

Tony shrugged and with a smirk added. “Maybe later.” 

~*~

Tony adored the opera anyway. It had been one of the defining moments of his childhood with his Nonna. She was a true matriarchal Italian woman who instilled a love of the language and music of Italy in him. La Boheme had always confused him as a child as the story was so sad and yet his Nonna always listened to it. 

Years later, Moonstruck the movie had actually helped give him the perspective. It was one of his favourite romantic movies and best of all, it centred around an Italian-American family. Okay, they’d been very different to his Long-Island family who, apart from his Nonna, seemed to do their best to forget their heritage. 

There was a scene in the movie where Cher, who’d never been to the opera, started to cry at the finale and Nick Cage just stares at her so deeply in love with his brother’s fiance. Anyway, that was beside the point, but Tony found himself staring at Danny’s rapt face and he felt an anfinity to Nicholas Cage in that moment. 

Danny wiped a tear away. “That was beautiful.”   
  
Tony smiled softly. “Always is.” And taking a chance, “Come back to my hotel room?”

Danny nodded, lost in dark green eyes.

~*~

 

As much as Tony thought the suits were **_totally_** worth it, now he found he preferred them lying on his hotel room floor. 

They’d lasted just long enough to get inside his room before he crowded Daniel against the wall. Just wanting to get a taste of him. Tony kissed him, insistent and as soon as Danny gasped, his tongue slipped inside.  _ It was better than he imagined. _

Tony wanted to feel everything, this was more than a one-night stand. He wanted to do more than just rock Daniel’s mind. He couldn’t accept this right now but it was true. 

In the moment, his hands were pulling at the crisp white shirt that was hiding Danny’s chest. Tony had seen it that first meeting at the beach, making it even more of a tease. The first touch was electric and he grinned into their kiss. “Bed.”   
  
The two men seemed to agree as they reluctantly broke apart and shed the remainder of their clothes quickly. There would be time to take their time later, but right now, their arousal had been simmering too long. They needed each other now. Tony leaned across to get into a drawer, offering Danny a perfect view of his ass. He found the lube and condom and threw them on the bed. 

He pulled Danny onto the bed with him, kissing him to distraction once more. He wanted to suck Danny off, his mouth was watering. 

“Do it.”   
  
Tony might have blushed but right now he was just feeling. He let Danny settle on the bed and kissed a path from his mouth down his chest. He spent time on his chest before going lower.    
  
Daniel was begging and adorably he kept slipping languages like he couldn’t keep track. Now that was hot. He’d made the professor stop thinking clearly. Tony stopped for a second and had a wicked grin, seeing Danny glare at him for stopping.    
  
When he had those baby blues on him, he sucked Danny down, keeping eye contact. Tony licked, sucked and did everything that he knew would drive his new lover out of his mind. Tony revelled in each moan and groan he pulled from Danny. As he carried on, he used his free hand to snick the cap off the lube. 

If Danny had been groaning before, it was nothing to Tony adding a finger inside him. The dual sensations had him thrusting and Tony pinned Danny’s hips wanting to take his time. He pulled his fingers out for a moment. “Patience, babe. I’ll get you there.”   
  
Danny flipped over showing the perfect curve of his ass to Tony, over his back he glared at Tony. “Fuck me now.”   
  
Tony smirked at how fucking adorable and bossy Danny could be. “Not yet.”   
Tony wouldn’t hurt Danny. He poured more lube onto his fingers and used two fingers now, scissoring Danny’s ass, ready to take his cock. Tony had to squeeze his own cock so that this wouldn’t be over before it began.

“One more.” Tony said, letting Danny know what the hold up was before he started pushing again. 

Danny was thrusting back. “Fuck me now before I pin you down and start to ride you.”   
  
Tony groaned at that image. “In the morning, babe.”   
  
Tony couldn’t deny himself any longer. He hadn’t seen any pain in Danny’s face and the thrusts were sliding now. Danny was as ready as he could be. He tore the condom wrapper with his teeth and slipped it on.

He thrust in with one sure movement and savoured the feeling. Daniel froze with him, both adjusting to the feeling. Danny was the one to start squeezing around Tony, causing him to thrust. 

That was it, Tony settled into a steady pace, aiming for Danny’s prostate. The arching of his back let Tony know he’d found it. And then, that was it, he tagged it on every thrust with ruthless efficiency wanting to make Danny cum. He was fast heading to his own climax. He wouldn’t last and he slipped his hand around to grip Danny’s cock.    
  
Danny panted. “Gonna cum.”   
  
Tony gasped “Do it.” They fell over the edge together and Tony managed to avoid falling on top of Daniel. They fell in a tangle of limbs and Tony was more than aware that they were still joined. He found himself reluctant to move but seeing Danny’s bleary eyes he reluctantly withdrew to find a towel to clean Danny up. He pulled the condom off and sorted out the cleanup duty. The bed's massive size had it’s advantage in that they could fall asleep and not worry about the wet spot. 

After that first day and night, the rest of their holiday went much the same way with both of them so careful not to name what this was.  They were aware their jobs were risky and not ones that they could leave.

~*~

It was their last morning in Rome and Danny didn’t want to get up out of the bed they had appropriated for the last day of their respective holidays. Until then, he had kidded himself that this would be a holiday romance.  There was no way that Anthony would want to risk a relationship with him considering he worked in law enforcement.  Daniel was not naive and knew that certain issues could beset him but even now, he couldn’t help but say, “I don’t want this to end.”

Tony had been awake trying to think through all the potential scenarios. He knew this could be dangerous for him. He’d seen the gay bashing of the cops who’d been out in Philly (it was more than just the mob that had made him leave that city.) Still, he found himself unable to let Daniel fade in the memories of a holiday romance. “So we don’t say goodbye ... we make long-distance work.”

Daniel kissed him, laughing and giddy. “You’re a genius.” 

Tony snickered and also grinned like a lunatic. Still, he knew that he’d made the right choice. In between the kisses, he managed to get out, “No, dear. You are the one with the multiple doctorates.”

Daniel pulled him back into another kiss. “You may have those you work with fooled but you confessed to me, Dr. DiNozzo.”

Tony shrugged because the disintegration of his friendships at NCIS had sucked but they were useful in some respects. His time on the Seahawk and lack of distractions had let him finish his dissertation, earning him his doctorate in Criminology.

_ Tony found himself okay with returning to Washington even though he’d been dreading it before Daniel. He’d make this work - he made it a silent vow to himself. There was no way he was going to give up this feeling without a fight. _

  
  
  



	2. Ep 2: Making it Work

** Episode 2: Making it Work **

 

Of course, as much as he wanted to stay in Italy with Daniel, real life and duty interferred. Still, he remembered his vow, he was no longer going to be anyone’s whipping boy and if the others couldn’t handle Gibbs’ attitude then they should get the hell off the MCRT.

He stepped into the bullpen and his desk, oozing satisfaction and his relaxed mask was back in place.  McGee took one look and sighed, “Let me guess - you met up with your frat brothers?”

Tony shook his head and, feeling more confident than he had in years, let a mask slip. “Nope,  _ McOnesome, _ I met a great guy.  He spoke so many languages that it made my head spin.  Plus, he was oh, so, talented using that flexible tongue in so many different ways. I’m a lucky man.”

McGee rolled his eyes as Tony didn’t even bother to come up with a convincing lie. “Look if you don’t want to tell us then just say so. You don’t need to lie to us.”

Gibbs wanted to shake his head as McGee was still naive in some ways.  McGee still couldn’t see what was right in front of him.  Gibbs however, saw a perfect opportunity to test the waters with his SFA.  He hoped that he wouldn't have to do the feelings shtick - it was not his strong suit but he needed to make a few things right. He waited for the right moment, knowing it would eventually come.  As they left work that day, DiNozzo and he were the last two agents for the MCRT to leave due to the burden of additional paperwork.

Gibbs waited until they were in the elevator. “Cowboy steaks?”

DiNozzo was startled by the request. He hadn’t been asked around to Gibbs’ since the explosion and definitely not since his sojourn on the Seahawk.  Gibbs hated the guarded look in DiNozzo’s eyes - like an abused puppy waiting for its next kick. He’d placed a few more memories and knew what family had done previously to Tony - he didn’t want to be another person who’d disappointed him. Gibbs couldn’t change the past - he could only work on the future.

**~*~**

Gibbs put the two plates of cowboy steaks on the table. Once they’d returned to his house, he and Tony had fallen into old routines for their meals. Tony would make the sides as he focussed on the steak. Gibbs was gruff but asked, “So this linguist. Will you see him again?”

Tony choked on his piece of steak and Gibbs patted his back to help. Tony recovered enough to say, “Jesus Boss, warn a guy.” 

Gibbs smirked at his SFA. “Hey, I’m not blind to what I’m told. You told McGee the truth and you did it masterfully. I know how well you can wield a perfect truth and have it dismissed.” 

Tony flushed at the compliment and recently that hadn’t been the case. He got what Gibbs was saying, his memories were returning.  “You will turn a boy’s head with compliments like that, boss.”

Gibbs rolled his eyes knowing that he needed to do more. He could see Tony had retreated behind too many of his masks. So he threw his precious rules out of the window to right a wrong that needed to be fixed.  “Sorry for forgetting what you meant, son.” 

Tony looked up and his breath went short because he thought he’d lost Gibbs. He’d hoped that this dinner was a thawing in their relationship but he’d never expected this. He choked out, “You forgot me.” 

Gibbs shook his head, wanting Tony to understand that it was nothing he’d done. “Not really. Just everything got jumbled up and painful, as soon as it settled I knew I needed to talk to you but you’d gone to Italy.” 

“You really remember?” Tony asked, sounding way too young for a second. He hated that he was showing Gibbs so much vulnerability but he couldn’t change it.  _ This did matter to him. _

“Yeah, I do.” Gibbs added darkly. “And I still want to gut Senior.” 

It was a serious truth - the man had no right to the title of ‘father’ but that wasn’t what Tony needed.  Gibbs would have to forgo his functioning mute persona for a second. “Look - you know I don’t do feelings but if you need to talk about this guy you can say what you like while I ....” 

Tony finished with an amused grin. “Sand the boat?” 

Gibbs smirked as it was a well-worn argument but one that suggested that their friendship was on the mend.  He hoped so, Kelly would kill him from the afterlife for forgetting her adopted big brother.  

He did get to find out about Italy and the linguist. Dr. Daniel Jackson.  He worked at Cheyenne Mountain and Gibbs and Tony agreed that the cover story was terrible. After all, why would a linguist and archaeologist be needed for deep-space telemetry?   
  


**~*~**

 

Gibbs found himself wishing he could meet this Daniel because he wanted to thank him.  He’d done more to settle and help Tony than anyone else.  He knew why Tony had calmed down at work, it never bothered him - the antics. He knew why DiNozzo did it and had, before the explosion, always been able to see beneath the surface. It had taken the breaking up of his team by Vance to put things in perspective.

He’d forgotten for a while and it messed with the team dynamics something rotten.  He’d wanted to fix his friendship with Tony first before setting about fixing the team.  

He should have known that Tony would get there first.  He’d waltzed in and laid down the law impressively - so much so, that Gibbs wondered if Tony and his old drill instructor were related. McGee and David had appealed to him, hoping Gibbs would support them.  He hadn’t and the stunned silence after his comment of “Don’t whine at me, you know I don’t listen.  DiNozzo is my SFA. End of discussion” was one to treasure.

The phone-call from autopsy surprised him - it was Ducky asking for him.  The examiner always knew more than everyone else. “Jethro, would you be able to come to autopsy? Anthony needs you.”

Gibbs didn’t even bother giving a reason, just left McGee and David in the bullpen with an order of “Cold cases!”

Gibbs strolled into autopsy wondering what would freak Tony out so badly that Ducky would call him.  “What’s up?”

Tony was sitting with his knees up on one of the autopsy tables. “Danny asked me to go the presidential dinner as his plus one.”

Now Gibbs understood and it suggested the relationship was a little more serious than he knew.  He was guessing it was only just catching up to Tony.  After all, one does not bring a casual date to a Presidential Dinner. Good. Tony deserved to have someone who wasn’t scared to acknowledge him.

He knew exactly what to say. “Go. You deserve it and Danny makes you happy, doesn’t he?”

Tony grinned and both Ducky and Gibbs knew everything in that one smile.  They had just seen his genuine smile that was blinding and considering how good the agent was at hiding his feelings it was rather startling when he didn’t bother to hide them at all.  “He does.” 

Gibbs nodded. “So what caused the freakout?” 

“Photographers will be present.” Tony reminded him and Gibbs now understood the problem.  All it would take would be one photograph to hit the papers and that would be it. No more undercover roles. For Tony, who had always considered his worth by the skills he’d brought to the team, he would no doubt be scared about what it would mean for his future.

“You are worth more than your undercover skills, Tony, and you know it.  You can train newbies, it’ll be like training McGee all over again.” He added with a wicked smirk. “Plus I know you’ve been thinking about teaching the undercover course that FLETC keeps hassling you about.”

Tony snorted when an amusing thought hit him. “Whose reaction are you looking forward to most?”

Gibbs, Palmer, and Ducky spoke at the same time. “Vance!”

Yeah, Tony was looking forward to seeing if Vance would change his frosty attitude after his date.

~*~

Tony had gone all out for the dinner. This was going to be a dinner with some of the most powerful people in Washington and Tony knew the power of a good suit. It was like its own piece of armour.  He had chosen a Zegna Blue Evening Suit that just looked effortlessly classy.  It was similar to the suit he’d worn in Italy to the opera and knew Daniel would appreciate the symmetry.

Daniel was meeting him at his place and they were taking an air force car to the event.  Daniel adored the fact that even though Tony was insatiably curious about just what he did with the military, he didn’t dig.  In Tony’s own words, “I understand secrets that need to be kept.”

Daniel knocked on his door and Tony kissed him chastely.  It was so not what he wanted to do but it wouldn’t do to go to the White House looking debauched. It was that thought that kept him behaving. “You look fantastic.” Tony told his lover as they broke apart.

Danny actually had this adorable little red tinge to the tops of his ears.  “Well, you look stunning and I will be the envy of all who will attend.”

Tony grabbed his hand, not wanting to get mushy right now. He was going to need all his wits to deal with the Washington bureaucrats. “Then it’s time to go and knock it out of the park.”

The dinner was fantastic as you would expect from the chefs at the White House and  Tony got to discover that Daniel knew very  _ powerful  _ people.  It was an illuminating evening but no one judged Tony. He held his own in the conversations and Daniel never left him alone.  

The highlight of the evening had to be when President Hayes and his wife stopped to chat to them.  Daniel introduced Tony as his partner and the President shook his hand.  Tony could hear the photographer take the shot but didn’t care.  He was too busy laughing with the First Lady.  It was a great candid shot and the one that was to be used for the PR of the whole event.  It just so happened to further the President’s equality bill.

The First Lady had a big grin on her face. “So you and Dr. Jackson? My, that is too hot for words.”

DiNozzo grinned because it wouldn’t be the first time he’d heard that this evening. However, with it being the First Lady his reply was far politer. “Thank you, ma’am. I am rather fond of Danny myself.”

“Just how did you two meet?” She asked, sounding genuinely curious.

Some might be scared by the way the First Lady seemed to want to gossip with them, not Tony.  He just took it in his stride. “We met in Italy on the beach. He was staring at me playing a volleyball game and I demanded that he take me for coffee.” 

Daniel smiled in remembrance. “It’s true, Mrs. Hayes, but we haven’t let each other go since.” 

Laura smiled at the couple. “Nor should you. Although, I insist I get a chance to dance with both of you this evening.” 

Tony smiled radiantly. “We can’t refuse the request of such a beautiful and refined Lady.” 

The President chuckled. “I like you, Agent DiNozzo.” 

“Thank you, Mr. President.” Tony replied as it was the only one you gave to the leader of the free world.

Daniel waited until they were alone to ask his lover. “You okay?”

Tony nodded, still a bit dazed. “Did the President just say he liked me?” 

Daniel nodded, finding the dazed look rather cute. “What’s not to like? ... How about a dance before the First Lady decides to cut in.”

Tony nodded, wanting to spend every moment with Danny and not caring what anyone else thought.  He was done caring and he’d reached a time in his life where people could accept the real him or leave him the hell alone.  “Sure thing.”

The song turned to a slow one so it was less a dance and just an excuse for couples to hold each other and sway.  Daniel whispered into Tony’s ears, “Thank you for coming.” 

Tony smiled and let Danny know something. “Danny, I love you. Of course, I would come.” 

Danny’s smile was blinding. “I love you, too.”

~*~

Tony walked into NCIS headquarters the next day with a bounce in his step. Danny had stayed at his place last night and they’d only said goodbye this morning. When he stepped into the bullpen he saw the look Gibbs was giving McGee and Ziva. Gibbs never had the greatest patience but Tony knew that look, he was looked like he wanted to shoot them. “Boss?”

Gibbs rolled his eyes but gave him a head’s up. “ It seems that the newspaper is more important than their paperwork. I’ve been debating what I can assign them to show my  _ displeasure _ .”

Tony winced because wow, there was stupid and then there was suicidal.  He looked over at the picture they were staring at - and it was the one of him with Danny. He smirked. “I had no idea that my private life could cause such a buzz,” he said, knowing full well it wasn’t the fact he’d had a date but rather the gender of the date. 

“You met the President?” McGee said, almost accusatory.

Tony shrugged and rolled with it, after all, he had no cure for jealousy.  “Yeah, I did. And the First Lady is a great dancer. Although, Danny wasn’t happy when she stole me for two whole dances.” 

“Danny,” Ziva said slowly, “is a man.” 

Tony smirked, because  _ seriously? _ It wasn’t like he wasn’t aware of the fact. “Yes, I did notice that fairly early on. We’ve been seeing each other for a while. Besides, I told you about him and you dismissed it as a lie and I didn’t care enough to correct your assumptions.” 

Gibbs smirked as he sipped his coffee. He’d been waiting for Tony to have his day for a while. He deserved this and was glad to get a ringside seat. The only thing missing was a beer and some popcorn to enjoy the show.

“You’re gay?” McGee asked incredulously and he was pointing at the photo of Tony standing next to Danny whilst talking to the Hayes’ that the Post had printed. 

Tony raised a cool eyebrow. “It is the twenty-first century,  _ McInsensitive _ . Do you need another training session with the DOD lady?”

McGee flushed because he wasn’t homophobic. “No, of course not. It’s just you - Mr. God’s gift to women - is gay?” 

Tony looked to Gibbs. “Yeah, it seems Agent McGee does need a refresher on workplace discrimination and inclusion. We should probably send him back to FLETC for some more work on assumptions and how to see beyond the surface as well. I know we’ve trained his investigative side better than that, boss.”

Gibbs nodded. “Agreed.”

Ziva wasn’t done. She stood up, arms crossed defensively. “You are not gay. This is a ruse.”

Tony rolled his eyes because, wow, talk about stubborn.  “Looks like you’ll be tagging along with McGee. Look Ziva, I love Daniel with my whole heart. Now if you have a problem working with a gay SFA then now is your time to ask for a transfer.”

They flushed but Gibbs and DiNozzo knew they weren’t done.  Tony had no idea that the idea of him dating another guy would break them so badly. The two junior team members raced to autopsy - no doubt to share what they’d learnt about Tony. 

Gibbs sighed as he was more angry at the fact neither McGee nor Ziva was as observant as they should have been. “Do you think the doctorate will truly break them?”   
  
“Boss?”   
  
Gibbs handed the paper over to Tony so he could read the caption with the picture -  _ Dr.’s Jackson and DiNozzo with President Hayes and his wife, Laura _ .  

Oh well, he would steel himself for that inevitable meltdown from the duplicitous duo when they figured it out. Tony had another thought then. “What does Vance think?”

Gibbs glanced up towards the mezzanine with a smirk. “Let’s go ask him.”


	3. Episode 3: Ripples in the Pond

**Episode 3: Ripples in the Pond**

Tony, seeing Vance watching them from behind the railing, looked to Gibbs. “Watch my six?” He had no idea how this meeting was going to go and wanted a friendly face. Well, Gibbs counted in his book.   
  
Gibbs snorted. “Sure thing, Tony.” This wasn’t going to go the way Tony thought. He’d just made the best friends that could be made in Washington and Vance would be suicidal to do anything less than be friendly. Still, it would be amusing to watch.

Vance didn’t say a thing until they were in his office. The first thing Vance said to Tony was. “You’ve had an eventful weekend it seems.”   
  
Tony chuckled at the understatement. “You could say that. The President said he liked me and I was ordered by the First Lady to dance with her. I barely managed to breathe after all that.”

Vance gave him an inscrutable look. “You haven’t let the doctorate be known before this?”   
  
Tony shrugged but did offer an explanation. “When Agent McGee came onto the team he was very, very green. He needed to feel like he was able to contribute to the team so I let him think my education ended with the Phys Ed degree from OSU.”

Vance had a dawning understanding. It felt like a sucker punch to the chest. “You adapted to the team’s needs?”

Tony nodded and frowned because that was a given surely. Gibbs was the one to chuckle. “He did the same when Viv joined us when Kate joined and managed to fold Ziva in the team despite the fact he was grieving for Agent Todd.” 

“That is what an SFA does, right?”    
  
Gibbs smirked. “No, Tony, they don’t. Not unless they are an exceptional SFA. Your trouble is you did it in such a subtle way that people don’t see it and make their own assumptions.”   
  
“Oh.” Tony wasn’t often speechless but he was now. He hoped Vance wanted to say something in particular. It turns out, the man did.

“You have raised your profile in Washington and I want you to know that should any agent show you disrespect then they will be straight to FLETC for a sensitivity course or two.”   
  
Tony was pleased by the support shown even if he felt like he’d dived down a rabbit hole. He’d never imagined the Director would go to bat for him. “On that note, Agent’s McGee and David will need to be the first ones.”

“I see.” Vance said and then smirked. “I have a simple solution then. You can head to FLETC as a team. Only they will be students and you and Gibbs can be guest lecturers.”   
  
Gibbs and Tony looked at each other and shrugged. Tony didn’t have anything better to do as Danny was away for the next month due to work commitments. The MCRT would either need to take two TAD agents or work on cold cases. “What do you say, boss? Want to go and show them how to shoot?”   
  
“Some good fishing around Glynco ... why not.” 

Vance smirked. “Oh and DiNozzo - whilst I can appreciate the usefulness of masks in the field ... drop them in the office, _ Dr. DiNozzo _ .”   
  
“Yes, Sir.” Tony replied, understanding a clear order when he heard one. He was done hiding anyway so it wouldn’t be a difficult one for him to follow.

~*~    
  
Abby was waiting outside for him. Wow, the chuckle twins hadn’t lasted long. He wondered what had bugged them more: the fact he’d been to the White House; the fact he was dating a guy; or, the fact he’d reprimanded them.     
  
“You have some explaining to do, mister.”

Tony snorted. “No, Abby, I don’t. Now, we need to go and brief Balboa. Poor guy’s team is going to be on call in place of the MCRT for this month.”   
  
“Why? It’s not true, is it? Timmy and Ziva said you’ve demanded that they go back to FLETC! They’re not probies!”

Tony wasn’t backing down, it helped to know that Vance was going to back their decision. “Yeah, I am, Abby. It might help them keep their jobs. Oh, and before they go complaining to Director Vance, they should know he has signed off on it.”   
  
Gibbs sighed, sad at the way Abby hadn’t thought to ask Tony his side of the story. “Abby. It is happening and it’s with my support as well.”   
  
“What did they do?” Abby asked, horrified.

Tony wanted to pinch his nose because this was typical Abby - she didn’t believe him, only Gibbs. 

“They were rude, invasive and couldn’t handle finding out my lover is male. Funny considering that I actually told them two months ago that I was dating Danny. They didn’t believe me until they saw my picture in the Washington Post.” Tony explained, not bothering to hide his exasperation.

Abby was disappointed in her friends but she grinned crookedly at Tony. She wanted him to know that she didn’t care about Danny being male. “Does he have a brother?”

Tony chuckled and he hated that he couldn’t stay mad at Abby. “No, an only child I’m afraid.”

“Too bad.” She had a wicked grin. “You will have to tell me more over a movie tonight.”

~*~

Tony and Gibbs had been given the instructor's base accommodations. It was a lot nicer than for the probies going through the courses here. They’d watched Ziva and McGee huff and puff their way through the first week. They’d started with arrogance only to find that it wasn’t tolerated. 

The other instructors didn’t care for their previous experiences or what team they were on. They were here to instruct them on what had been viewed as a deficiency.

Tony sat down, opposite Gibbs, in their equivalent of a canteen. “Why the grumpy face?”    
  
“The test scores suck. I got told that this wasn’t the marines.”   
  
Tony snorted, sympathetic. “I got asked why would they have to cut themselves off from family and friends if they went undercover.”   
  
Gibbs just stared in disbelief. “Okay, you win. Seriously?” 

Tony nodded and shrugged. “I took a swig of coffee and told him there was the door because there was no way he’d ever pass undercover.”

Gibbs smirked. “Want to come and show the newbies just how they should shoot?”

Tony grinned. “Why not? Let me know the time.”

 

~*~   
  
Ziva huffed as she did the cataloguing work. She’d complained saying that the Director had only sent them for sensitivity. McGee and Ziva had got the shock of their lives when they’d found out it had been Vance that increased their workload and basically made them go through the short course for agents changing from other law enforcement jobs.

“This is ridiculous. We know how to do the job.” Ziva hissed as they sat on the long row. The two of them had been restricted to talking to each other only as no one else wanted to talk to them. It seemed as if they were lepers. It was not her fault that she’d mentioned that she’d already been on the MCRT for years.

McGee looked morose. “I was told to quit yapping and take my punishment like a man.”

Ziva huffed having heard something similar. “And yet Gibbs and Tony  _ two-steps _ around the room.”

McGee shrugged because they’d been sent here for their comments against Tony and his male lover.  “It’s waltz, I think, Ziva. And they are just acting like they should, they are guest lecturers.”   
  
She threw her hands up in the air. “Yes, and they have respect whilst we are treated like grunts.”

_ A lesson that would take a bit longer was the fact that respect was earned. _   
  
~*~

Ziva and Tim were forced to watch as the others did their marksmanship class. They were exempt from the qualification but not from ‘supporting’ their teammates. It would apparently be good for them and they might learn something according to the Director of the course.

Gibbs was taking the lead on this, which made sense but he didn’t even acknowledge them. That had stung. They noticed Tony there as well and he too didn’t even acknowledge them. McGee had almost started a conversation but a steely glance from Tony and a shake of his head stopped him. 

Tony had not acted like they’d expected at all since arriving at FLETC. It was clear that the other instructors respected him a great deal. He’d held both lectures and proactive course demonstrations in the surrounding towns. The class always had a buzz after leaving him, even Tim and Ziva could admit to learning a few things.

“Now. It has been said that I have been unfair by expecting you all to reach my level of proficiency. That no one who wasn’t a marine could manage it. I have brought Instructor DiNozzo here to show you otherwise.”   
  
The first row of students leaned in closer. Instructor DiNozzo merely asked a simple question. “Which drill?”    
  
“All of them. Random cycle.”   
  
DiNozzo’s smile grew. “Ah - that explains the firepower.” When he’d looked at the platform he had his three preferred weapons. A Sig-Sauer P228, a standard rifle, and a double-barrel shotgun. 

Gibbs called out. “Straight shoot.”   
  
Tony picked his Sig up, loaded it and fired it in one smooth movement. His arm never wavered and a calmness had descended. “Moving targets.” The minute his first weapon was empty, he picked his second up.

Only the simulation had changed and now there were moving targets at a much greater distance. Tony called out. “Perp?”    
  
“Blonde, blue eyes.” Gibbs called back. 

This was an upgrade to the challenge. Once you knew how to shoot it was a case of learning to shoot only the perp you wanted.

Tony focussed.  _ Single shot, target down. _

Gibbs just changed the profile. “Brunette. Green eyes.”

**Bang.**

Gibbs finished the demonstration with a removal of the screen to show a car. “Back seat, holding a gun on the driver.”  
  
Tony whipped the shotgun into his arms and fired it, twice, taking out the back seat and making sure the _gunmen_ were killed. 

The whole demonstration had taken less than two minutes. The targets were called up for review. “Any more whining going to occur or will you listen to what I can teach you?”

One of the braver students called out. “He could have been a marine before being an agent!”   


Tony shook his head. “Nope, NCIS by way of serving as a Detective in Peoria, Philadelphia, and Baltimore. Gibbs was my mentor and I listened, try it. Hey, look on the bright side. You all get to practice on actual targets. When I was learning he took my favourite hat and used it as a target practice aid.”

The class shuddered. “Well, you lot have fun. I need to go instruct on the rules of operating undercover.”   
  
Tim whispered. “Have you ever seen him do that?”    
  
Ziva shook her head but her thoughts were swirling. That wasn’t the  _ Agent Meatball _ that she’d profiled for her father. No. This Tony was far more dangerous and had a star rising in the ascendency. How had she missed this? Why had she refused his initial flirtation?

It was irrelevant now, his head was full of this Daniel and it had been made more than clear to them. Tony was the SFA but he no longer had any intention of being anything more than an acquaintance/workmate to McGee or herself.

The rest of the time went much the same way. By the end of the training, Ziva and McGee realised had lost something they might not ever get back.     
  


~*~

Tony was really looking forward to this weekend. He’d booked the time off so that he could spend it with his boyfriend who was flying in from Colorado. FLETC had been a welcome distraction but he’d still missed Danny more than he thought he would. Yeah, it was still a shock to him that he was in a committed, long-distance relationship too. Still, Daniel made it real easy. The apartment was clean and apart from the museum exhibition they were going to visit they didn’t plan to really leave his place  _ at all.  _

It was going to be the best, most relaxing weekend to keep him warm until they could meet again a month later.

Tony got up at the sound of the doorbell. He was confused as he’d given Danny his own key, saying whenever he had business in DC he should stay with Tony rather than renting a hotel room. When he opened the door Tony understood why because whilst Daniel was standing there, there was also a General and a Major as well. He didn’t need to be an investigator to know that his weekend plans had just been derailed.  _ Significantly. _

Tony opened his door and invited his guests in. “And what can I do for the Air Force’s finest? Don’t you guys have your own investigative branch?”

The General smirked, liking the sass. Too few people were willing to be sarcastic to him since the addition of the stars on his shoulders. He gave DiNozzo a hint. “We do but this requires your unique skill set I think, and having reviewed your  _ full  _ record at NCIS I am inclined to agree with Danny.”   
  
“So you’re Danny’s boss, right?” Tony guessed. The clue of Danny was a big one, as Daniel had said only two people could get away with it - Tony and his best friend.   
  
“Yeah, and his best friend but you knew that already.” O’Neill observed with a raised eyebrow of his own. 

Tony shrugged because he wasn’t going to deny it. “Okay and I’m guessing that before I get the secret decoder ring, I’m required to sign the most giant stack of NDA’s I have ever seen. And I have seen a few.”

O’Neill gestured for the Major to step forward. “This is Major Davis and he deals with all the delightful paperwork for the program.”

Major Davis handed him the forms. “I don’t need to explain all the details about this as you are already more than familiar with the routine. Your clearance level has been raised to  _ Above Top Secret - Eyes Only.  _ Your Director may quiz you about this on your return to NCIS but feel free to direct him to myself or General O’Neill.”   
  
“Understood.” Tony replied as he signed his name for the fifteenth time, and he was only halfway through the document. “So what is it?”    
  
O’Neill had a big grin on his face as he cut into the speech that Danny was starting. “Sorry, Danny boy, but I get to say it this time.  **Aliens are amongst us** .”

Tony chuckled, sitting back on his couch as he assimilated that knowledge. He liked the General - he had a similar sense of humour. The more he thought about the General’s statement, the more he laughed ... and kept on laughing.

“Tony, you okay?” Daniel asked and then a pause. “JACK, you broke my boyfriend.”

Tony stopped laughing, hearing the genuine worry of his lover. “Sorry, I am okay but I just knew it. Now, I’ll finish signing these forms and let the deeply uncomfortable Major here leave.”   
  
The Major looked relieved at the out and that made Tony kind of want to start laughing again. He disappeared in a flash. Tony just raised an eyebrow, looking at O’Neill. “You said aliens but I didn’t think you meant Star Trek.”

O’Neill looked delighted by his sass. “Do we have to give him back?”   
  
Daniel shrugged. “I think you should probably ask Tony, not that I would object.”

Tony rolled his eyes and cut through what he was sure was about to morph into a good-natured argument. “Why not explain why you felt the need to let the genie out of this particular bottle?” After all, he knew Danny was working on something big but he’d been willing to accept the phrase Top-Secret to keep his relationship.    
  
Tony got introduced to the Stargate in a very rapid explanation. That was okay for him, as an investigator, he was used to collecting the key facts and then running with the information. Danny was so keen and his natural passion flowed through the explanation.

Once Danny finished briefing him on the history of the Stargate program - they finally arrived at the reason their weekend was getting hijacked.

Tony recapped to ensure his understanding of the situation was correct. “So Goa’uld are snakes and the bad guys who possess people. You have a next-generation research village, where people are disappearing and you need to find them, or where they’ve disappeared to and you suspect a Trust connection. The Trust are also bad guys and have infiltrated many areas of the government so you don’t  _ trust _ the inside help - no pun intended. Which is how you arrived at me and Danny’s team?”

O’Neill nodded and he was pleased that DiNozzo could keep up. He liked that very little seemed to outwardly faze the agent. “I need people I can trust.”

Tony stood up. “Well then, I suppose you better let my Director know that you’re borrowing me for a few weeks. For the record, my team are nosey and will no doubt try to find me if I disappear without saying anything.”

O’Neill smirked. “Well then, they should respect privacy and if needs be ... I will visit and threaten appropriately.” 

Tony snickered, sensing that O’Neill rather hoped he could have a chance to cause mischief. “If you do, can I have the video evidence?”   
  
O’Neill grinned, clapping his hands once. “Perfect. Now take clothes for the night. We’ll fit you out for anything you’ll need as your debrief is going to finish at the mountain.”

Tony didn’t say much, just grabbed his go bag. O’Neill looked surprised and Tony only offered as an explanation, “Jethro Gibbs is my boss and a Marine Gunnery Sergeant. Being prepared is an expectation.”

“Ooh-rah.” O’Neill said with a smirk. In fact, trying to poach DiNozzo for the program was becoming more and more likely. They needed the best and brightest in defense of Earth. Plus, he was more than aware that once you got a taste of the Stargate - well, very few people could walk away.

~*~   
  


Tony had beamed up to the Daedalus and wasn’t that a trip? He’d always wanted to go into space and now he had. Seeing the Earth from orbit was an image he doubted he’d ever forget. Daniel was smiling beside him. “It’s quite something, isn’t it?”   
  
“Oh yeah.” Tony breathed in and touched the glass (or whatever it was) that was separating him from the vacuum of space.  “So how long before we’re in the mountain?”    
  
Danny looked at his watch. “Right about now in fact.”

Tony took a deep breath and steeled himself for transport again. In a blink, they were in a meeting room by the look of it.

“Are we okay?” Danny asked. 

As they were currently the only ones in the briefing room, Tony squeezed his hands and reassured his lover. “Not even aliens can make you unattractive to me.”   
  
Daniel chuckled because he was so sure that this might be too much. He should have trusted Tony. “Good - because I am not done with you yet.”   
  
Tony grinned. “Ditto.”

Daniel gave him the hairy eyeball. “Did you just  _ Ghost _ me? I can’t believe ……”

The new arrivals stopped any further conversation. Tony’s hand was shaken by the boss of the program, a General Landry. “Agent DiNozzo, welcome to the mountain.”

“Pleasure to be here.” Tony responded. Landry then pointed at the other new arrivals into the room.

“So this is Colonel Mitchell, Teal’c, and Vala. They’re the other members of SG1. Colonel, if you will brief us on the situation.”

So Tony got the lowdown from Colonel Mitchell. The village was a research village where the armed forces and alphabet agencies aimed to create the next generation cutting technology, be it defensive or offensive technology. Tony just had to ask. “You watch a little too much Eureka or something?”   
  
Cameron smirked. “Or something. Eureka is plausible deniability like Wormhole Extreme before you ask.”

Tony held his hands up in a mock  _ I surrender _ gesture. It was good to see that the people here had managed to hold onto their sense of humour. “So who are the experts that have gone missing and how worried should we be?”

Mitchell changed the viewer and up popped three couples. “These are the Professors’ Williams - Maggie and Dave. That is Dr. Amber Sweetson and her fiance Dr. James Wilson. Oh, and Dr. William Francis and his partner, Paul Diamond.”

Tony looked through their bios and then looked up at the others in the room. “Forgive me for asking - three couples, same town. How do you know this isn’t a serial killer operating? The victims are remarkably similar.”

Landry looked pleased by the question. He answered honestly. “We don’t, which is why you and Doctor Jackson have just found employment in the village.”

Tony looked through his covers. “I’m a marine major who is off a tour in Afghanistan following my partner Dr.  _ Jacobs  _ to the suburbs for his new job.”

Danny smirked. “I don’t mind seeing you in BDU’s.”   
  
Tony smirked right back. “Not in front of your boss.” He turned back to Landry. “So you suspect a Trust connection with the Goa’uld driving the bus?”    


Landry nodded, making a mental note to have a chat with Jack. The Mountain could do with its own investigative agent, plus, there were a lot of transferrable skills judging from the man’s employment jacket. “Indeed, you will make your way to the village once the appropriate backgrounds are in place. Vala and Colonel Mitchell will also be arriving in the area as backup and to work the surveillance.”   


Tony nodded. “Where do I go to get a Marine haircut?”   
  
“Base has a barber - Doctor Jackson will show you where.” Landry informed him.    
  
“Thank you, Sir.”

Landry stood up. “This is a critical mission and you have twenty-four hours to prepare for it to start. Good luck.”

_ Tony had been looking forward to a quiet weekend in his apartment with Danny. Instead, he was going to play the part of an undercover couple hoping to unravel a potential space conspiracy.  _

_ He really did love his life. _


	4. Ep 4: Undercover101

**Episode 4: Undercover 101**

 

Tony was taken to the SG1 office area, it was separate to their own workspaces. “So how is your undercover work?”    
  
Cameron and the others looked at each other. Vala just rolled her eyes. “Darling, I was running con jobs before you were born.”   
  
“Then you look spectacular and I’m glad you’re backing me up.” Tony finished without missing a beat.

The rest of the team smiled at Tony’s easy acceptance of things. “Vala will be okay,” Mitchell decided. “I’m a pilot and a soldier, Jackson is a linguist and archeologist. Sorry, but Teal’c my man, you just don’t blend and that’s cool.”

Teal’c bowed his head regally so as to acknowledge the point. It was a fair one, he was a warrior, not a spy. His former master had others in his ranks to fulfill those missions. “Why are we going to a barber?”    
  
Tony was the one to explain. “Well, I am going to pretend to the villagers that I am Danny’s husband. The story is I have been on duty in Afghanistan and returned home. So I need a marine haircut.”

Mitchell thought about it and asked what he felt could be a sticking point. “Do you know enough to pass off a tour in Afghanistan?”   
  
Tony nodded. “Yeah, I do. A case took us to the American Camp at Camp Leatherneck. Plus, my boss is a marine and trained us like we should be able to fit into the corps.”   


Vala looked pleased, she was. It was so hard to find good help. “Oh yes, the best deceptions start off with kernels of truth.”

“I know.” Tony could also see what the others couldn’t. There was a lot of pain beneath Vala’s eyes. The learning of her skills came at great cost to her. Tony sensed that some judged her for it. Well, he wouldn’t be one them. “So, how will you and Colonel Mitchell slip into the village?”

Vala shrugged and she was aggravated. “I can’t see an angle for me to be there and not arouse suspicion.”

Tony raked his mind for what he could make fit. “How well known are you, Colonel Mitchell, to the potential bad-guys?”   


Mitchell thought about it. “They will have my file but I haven’t been around long enough to get a reputation like O’Neill.”   
  
Tony grinned. “Wait, you’re a pilot?”    
  
“Anything with wings.”    
  
Daniel rolled his eyes as it was a simple solution. This was why they needed Tony, he knew he would see the obvious. “I get it now ... But how do we arrange the job offer?”

Tony took on lecturer mode. “Well, you need to eliminate the current test pilot, whether it’s a trumped-up arrest or whatever. Then, you make Colonel Mitchell seem like a really attractive candidate. It means his jacket would need to be clean but not too clean. The odd aggressive incident etc, play up any relevant ideology without making it obvious.”

Vala grinned. “Oh Daniel, you brought me a real professional. Shall we make the plan and just let you know?”   
  
“Now hang on a minute.” Mitchell protested. 

Daniel saw Tony look a little indecisive. “Why not let them have the hour to come up with a definitive plan and then share it with the group. It makes sense, Colonel. We always defer to the most knowledgeable in any circumstance.”   


There really was no reason to argue with that and Mitchell wasn’t O’Neill, there were no black ops in his past.

“Okay. Hey Teal’c, can we go spar? I’ve got some excess frustration to work off.”   
  
“It will be my honour, Colonel Mitchell.”   
  
Tony wondered if Daniel was going to leave him too, and he got a small smile. “I know when I could be helpful and when I’ll be a hindrance. Do what you gotta do and I’ll trust your plan. I’ve got a translation to do.”   
  
Tony smiled. “Have fun in your books.”

Vala waited for the others to leave the office before turning to Tony with a grin. “Okay, pretty boy, let’s get down to business.”

Tony and Vala brainstormed ideas. They had a twisted version of an evidence board only this one included the village site plans and the files of the missing personnel. 

“So how do I get in?”   
  
Tony shrugged. “Well, how attractive do you found Cameron?”    
  
Vala grinned salaciously. “Well, it won’t be a hardship to be married to the man. He’s just so much fun out of his pants.”

Tony chuckled as the brunette really did have a bright personality. “I’m sure he would say the same about you, Vala.”

She huffed, realising something. “You are just flattering me as I am going to have to play housewife, aren’t you?”   
  
Tony nodded. “Yeah, as fabulous as you look in the leather you’ll want to blend into the background as much as possible and that will not be possible when you look stunning.”   
  
She pouted. “Why did Danny find you before I did? You would have been fun to steal.”   
  
Tony grinned “Sorry, Danny stole my heart in Italy.”   
  
“Only you don’t want it back, do you?” She said with an astute grin. 

“Guilty.”

~&~ 

Mitchell had listened to the plan and it made sense. “So I’m a pilot going there as a way to save my career. Vala is my adoring wife and we’ll  _ connect with you  _ as outsiders trying to make friends.”   
  
Tony nodded. “That’s right. In an undercover operation, it is best to keep it simple. We’ll be suspicious as we’re newbies so it would make sense if we tried to make friends as we’d have that in common.”

Vala was pouting. “That’s easy for you, you get to be yourself. I have to cook and pretend like I can’t shoot. It is going to be terrible. Although I suppose I can always steal Cameron’s pants again.”

Tony smirked. “Well, just think of the fun you can have once we’ve solved the mystery.”

Cameron just shrugged, more than aware of the havoc Vala could create when she was so inclined. “Okay, and you’re still going be inserted as one of the military?”    
  
Tony nodded, “Yes, one of the victims in each couple was one of the armed forces. It’s too big a coincidence to ignore, which is why I need a haircut and some new clothes befitting a marine.”

Daniel and the others were waiting outside the changing rooms. As Tony completed his  _ transformation,  _ he had the haircut and as much as he’d miss his hair - he valued his life. It was the most important part of good undercover operations - the successful agents soon learned that the devil was in the details. Thankfully his love for the sun would mean he would look like he’d spent time in the desert.

Tony stood in front of the mirror, looking at his reflection. Time to channel his mentor, well, not in all ways. There was no way he was going to screw up his relationship with Daniel. 

“Time to get this show on the road.”   
  


~*~

  
Tony was driving the wagon that they’d borrowed for their stay in  _ Weirdsville.  _ At least that’s what Tony was calling it in his mind. He knew he could handle the science-like things. After all, he’d spent way too long around McGee not to. It was the potential Stepford-vibe of this place that was making him antsy. If anyone invited him into the basement, he was so making tracks.

“You okay?” Danny asked him.   
  
Tony nodded. “Sure thing, babe. Just so quiet.”   
  
Daniel knew the game and Tony had drilled it into him at every possible moment he could about undercover operating procedures. If this was hostile they could be observed the minute they stepped out of their cars. There was no downtime here, they were the roles for the next few days at the bare minimum. “I know, but you’re home from Afghanistan and I am so grateful for that.”   
  
Tony clutched his hand. “I will always come home to you.”   
  
It may have been a fake house but the relationship between them wasn’t. “I know.”

The house was ridiculously fancy - so much so that even trust fund Tony groaned. “What do we need all this for?” It was what a marine would say, being used to living economically.   
  
Daniel shrugged because he prefered his tech a little more alien than what was on offer here. “I have no idea. We should get to the unpacking though.”

Tony looked around, using his background as an excuse. As a marine, it would be expected for him to be cautious and scope out a new area. For Tony, it was a perfect excuse to check for bugs and cameras. 

Tony pointed at the ceiling in a subtle way. So at the moment, there was a low-level surveillance on them. Obviously, newbies weren’t trusted. That was fine by Tony, it just meant they’d have to work to get adopted into the community. He was okay with that as long as it didn’t involve a snake in his head. 

Tony pulled Danny close. “We’ve been driving all day. Let’s go rest and attack this in the morning.”   
  
“No food?” Danny smirked.

Tony had a wicked grin. “Oh, I’m not hungry for food. It’s been a long six months.”

Daniel had a matching grin. Well, if they were meant to be a married couple they should act like it. “Let’s go to bed.”

And they had to hope the neighbours didn’t kill them in their sleep. Fun times. Well, Danny had promised him an exciting weekend. He’d just thought it would be undercover shenanigans of a different kind.

~*~   
  
An hour later, there was a knock at the door. It was Cameron and Vala, blending in perfectly as another suburban couple. “Hey, we’re your new neighbours.”   
  
Tony shook their hands and beckoned for them to come inside. “Come in. Sorry for the mess, we’re new here.”

Vala quirked an eyebrow at Tony and Tony, without having to have a verbal question, pointed at the ceiling fan. “Yeah, I have never had one before, sure is an interesting  **sight** to see on a ceiling.”

Vala nodded and making sure there was no line of sight to the camera. “This town gives me the heebie-jeebies. It is crawling with goa’uld. It is all I can sense.”

Daniel blanched because a small part of him had hoped that this was a standard crazy human issue that could be dealt with by the DOD. “How many?”    
  
Vala gave him a dark look. “I haven’t met one yet who isn’t.”

Cameron groaned. “How did this happen?”    
  
Daniel shrugged because it didn’t matter - what was done, was done. “We have to figure out the next steps. What is our new objective?”   
  
Tony sighed because he was asking questions that he hoped were logical. “Okay, you have two problems from an outside perspective. Problem one ... Can you  _ de-goa’uld  _ someone? Two - Who let this town get so bad because that smacks of a conspiracy?”

_ Sadly there was no immediate answer.  _

  
  



	5. Ep 5: What's Next?

_ Tony sighed because he was asking questions that he hoped were logical. “Okay, you have two problems from an outside perspective. Problem one ... Can you de-goa’uld someone? Two - Who let this town get so bad because that smacks of a conspiracy?” _

There was silence. This was no longer a potential serial killer which was a relief but in reality, it was far more sinister. Tony knew this had just gotten a whole lot more complicated.    
  
Cameron thought through Tony’s second question as it was a fair point. What was the new objective? If the whole town was crawling with Goa’uld then how would they avoid detection. They’d put minimal prosthetics on Daniel, just enough to make him look a little different. Would it pass muster? Who let it get this way? Could they save the staff? How much research was compromised? This was a mess of epic proportions.

Cameron spoke up having thought it through. “We need a communication drop to inform the mountain. Can we fool them?”   
  
Vala rolled her eyes. “Get me a voice modulator and they won’t know I am not a goa’uld. Plus, I can say that I am aiming to recruit you to the cause. Sorry, darling.” She said with a smirk as she patted Cameron’s cheek. 

Cameron snorted because he’d known Vala long enough to know that no matter what she said, her actions spoke more about her true character. He responded with some sass of his own. “And there was me thinking you made dinner because you liked me.”   
  
Tony and Daniel shared a look in bemusement. Cameron and Vala were undercover but they should really think about giving their relationship a real go. Daniel spoke. “That leaves me and Tony in trouble.”   


Vala tilted her head to the side as she considered all the angles of the problem. This was her remit, her knowledge area - she had horrific knowledge of what the goa’uld could do. She had played host to Qetesh and seen the worst of their depraved nature as the queen had scrambled to keep her place amongst the elite kings and queens. 

She looked at Tony and asked him honestly. “Just how good is your acting?”    
  
“I wanted to help people not win awards.” Was the telling reply.

Daniel smiled as he already knew that answer. It was one of the things he loved about Tony - his willingness to protect with all that he had. “He would need the mineral markers.” Daniel reminded them.   
  
Vala snorted and slipped her hand inside her coat to pull out a lump. “They won’t know the difference. In all honesty, it would be better if we could inject you with Naquadria.” She did explain to Tony.   


“I can’t.” Tony grimaced. “My lungs are damaged. There’s a human virus called the plague that I caught and it damaged my lungs.”   
  
Vala threw her hands up in the air - people really should tell her things. “Darling, tissue damage I can fix with a goa’uld healing device. It is the one good thing the bitch left me.”

Tony rubbed his face as he thought this through. Once the general ideas were created, next came the fine print. How was he going to get healed? Wouldn’t they know? 

Vala crowed in joy as the idea crystallized in her mind. It was a perfect solution and oh so simple. “I know what to do. Danny, do you remember Nishta?”   
  
“That was nasty!”    
  
Vala rolled her eyes because that was an overly simplistic description of the drug that took all your thought and control away from you. “Yes, but could you act like you were under its influence for the sake of this mission?”   
  
“You want me to play lovesick for Tony?” 

She quirked an eyebrow because it wasn’t exactly untrue even without the Nishta. “Point.”   
  
Cameron caught on. “And you want me to do the same?”    
  
She smirked and nodded. “Yes but this time I will let you keep your pants on.”   
  
A knock at the door saw the group freeze and already they moved as a unit ready to assume their roles. Vala took the lead all swagger and confidence, Tony standing back with his weapon drawn but down at his side - Daniel and Cameron headed to the kitchen. It would be better if they were talked about rather than seen for now. 

It was the head of the research centre, Warren Christie. Well, that who was who the goa’uld was pretending to be. She wondered how long the goa’uld been inside the poor victim. Of course, Vala said none of these things and went with. “Hello, darling, what brings you here?”    
  
He frowned as she was unexpected. “This is not your home.”   
  
She snorted. “No, it belongs to my old friend here,” pointing at Tony. “And his paramour.”

Christie cocked his head to the side as he assimilated what he could sense. “Welcome and just how did you get here?” He didn’t just mean the village, Vala knew he was referring to the planet itself.   
  
Vala sighed. “Do you know it was the damndest thing ... We were running from the Lucian Alliance after we’d  _ liberated  _ some property and our ship crashed into this stupid planet.” Vala announced boldly and with a saucy wink finished her tale. “Luckily, we found two fine specimens to ensnare and help us with our mission.”

“So he is….?” Christie asked, pointing to Tony as if he wasn’t there.   
  
Tony held the weapon out and in his best Gibbs impression answered. “The muscle.”

It was an acceptable answer, it seemed, as he looked less suspicious. Still, there was one question that needed answering because Christie had done the interview for their partners and they definitely were not goa’uld. “Your  _ partners  _ are human?”    
  
Vala let her tongue poke out showing she at least found something funny. “It’s the strangest thing. You know humans - they just can’t handle their Nishta.”

Christie threw his head back and laughed at the sass, and this one was bold and could be useful. They hadn’t planned for the two ‘entrepreneurs’ but they could come in handy. “We wanted Jacobs for his language skills.”

“So did Terminus, although if you’re asking for his human name he goes by Anthony Jacobs.” Vala’s smirk grew wicked. “He just chose to enjoy more than David’s tongue skills.” She said it with such a straight face that you might almost miss the innuendo.

Christie huffed. “This was a complication that we did not plan for.”

Vala shrugged. “Sweetheart, if you can’t plan for attention you shouldn’t attract it.”

Christie’s sigh grew as he could hear the valid point. “You’re right. We’ll be in touch - this could be the start of something promising.”

~*~

  
Cameron came out and went straight to Vala’s side to play the lovestruck husband, he’d remembered the surveillance was passive - visual, not audio. “Well, that was enlightening.”   
  
“By enlightening you mean scary, right?” Tony responded, wryly. 

“How so?” Daniel asked as they’d been pottering around the kitchen but listening to every word. 

“The fact they are amateurs, darling. He had no plan for me. That speaks to a lack of planning, foresight or just general arrogance.” Vala explained.

Daniel smirked as this was the goa’uld. “Or a mix of all three considering what we know.”

Tony didn’t disagree. “My guess would be the couples that disappeared are dead as they failed to be implanted. That’s the technical term I think, or, they got too suspicious and were terminated.”

Cameron winced as it was obvious it was the later. “It is more than likely. I don’t like this, it’s getting too dangerous. My feeling is we give this the weekend, whilst we are supposed to be settling in and then book it out of here, calling the SGC in to clean up the mess.”   
  
Daniel nodded. “Agreed.”   
  
Vala and Tony snorted almost simultaneously. “Yeah, this is not a good situation ... too many variables and not enough planning.”

_ All they had to do was survive a weekend in this hellhole village. Tony decided he would never watch Stepford Wives again after this weekend.  _

 


	6. Ep 6: Cleaning House

Tony looked at the group. It sounded easy but they all knew it would be anything but easy. They had to survive, trick ruthless aliens, all whilst finding information that didn’t arouse suspicion. The only positive thing was they were in their ‘home’ and as such knew the only recording device was passive. 

Tony knew though, it would only stay that way whilst they were home. The minute the couples left there would be more cameras in their place than a casino.

“So, too bad we can’t just stay here and ignore the whole village.”    
  
Mitchell snorted. “I know right. Damn our protective tendencies. And who the hell is Terminus?”

All looked to Daniel as he was the specialist in this area. “He is the Roman god of boundaries.”

Vala chuckled. “Just make sure we get everything in any deal, darling.”

Tony was too astute to miss a thing. “You mean you’d miss something.”   
  
“Point.”

In fact, both couples snuggled up on opposite couches. Vala started off. “So I think Tony and Cameron should go on a run but we will stay in and bake.”   


Cameron grinned, enjoying the chance to tease Jackson and lighten the mood. “I wouldn’t say no to some fresh air and a perimeter check.”   


Tony smirked, agreeing fully. He’d want to do it - even if he was pretending to be a marine. “Oh yeah.”   
  
“And what shall I bake?” Danny asked with sarcasm evident.

Tony frowned as he realised something. It just went to show how strange their lives could be. “You know, I don’t even know if you cook?”   
  
Vala loved the banter between the couple. She hoped they made it long term. She could see how easily they balanced each other. “I will make sure you can. Honestly, you love reading and can’t follow a recipe?”

Tony and Cameron took a valiant retreat knowing that they needed to get out of there before they said something to get them in trouble. The run was easy as they were aiming for a long distance lope, all the better to check out what was going on.

“We have friends,” Tony spoke up. 

“I noticed.” Cameron was glad he was here as a test pilot as being cocky was supposed to be part of his DNA. So he waved at the  _ supposed  _ security force tailing them.    
  
Tony snorted derisively. “Maybe I should apply to the Sheriff’s department?”   


“Perhaps,” Cameron replied, doing his best Teal’c impression.    
  
What the two men had also done was coordinated the words to start the dead drop procedure to pass on information. It wasn’t high tech. This was old school spycraft.

Drop complete - they ran back to the house where Danny and Tony were staying, glad that they still had a relatively safe space in a crazy town. 

~*~   
  
Meanwhile back in Washington, Jack had just received notification of someone trying to lurk where they were not welcome. “Paul, we’re going to NCIS to scare some idiots, see who wants to come along ... and bring the really nasty NDA to see if we don't knock some sense into them. I have a feeling their director will be embarrassed if we make two of his top workers disappear for being idiots.”

Davies was a good aide as he simply rolled with his whims. “I’ll order the car around, sir. Shall I inform Director Vance of our impending arrival?”   
  
Jack thought about it and shook his head. “Nah, I think I want to surprise them.”   


The car journey hadn’t taken that long - the benefits of being a Joint Chief. When they landed at NCIS, Jack huffed. “You should have warned me to bring my shades.”   
  
Davies had only a small smile. “Sorry, sir. It slipped my mind.”   
  
“Be sure to remember if I have to come back.”   
  
“Yes, sir.” They walked through security and the guards were smart enough to check ID’s and then get the hell out of the way of the glowering general. They hoped whoever had crossed the guy had said their prayers. 

~*~   
  
O’Neill waltzed straight off the elevator and shouted. “I want McGee and Scuito ready to talk to me in five minutes with their boss.”   
  
Silence rang out across the platform and then everyone started whispering. A head shot up from one of the cubicles - so Jack knew he’d found McGee. The Director made himself known. “General O’Neill, shall we take this to the conference room?”    
  
“Let’s.”   
  
~*~

Vance had a whole host of toothpicks in his pocket. He had a feeling he was going to break every single one of them in this meeting. There were men who you could cross in this town and there were those who you did not. Jack O’Neill had a reputation for being a devious shit when crossed, just ask the former Vice-President Kinsey. 

“What seems to be the problem?” Vance asked. 

“Well, I told you that I was taking Agent DiNozzo for a supremely sensitive and delicate undercover operation, correct?”    
  
Vance nodded. “Yes, I received the orders from your office and they were followed.”   


O’Neill snorted. “Is that so?”    
  
“Why?”    
  
O’Neill looked at the two people sitting in between Gibbs and Vance. It was a little pathetic how much they resembled naughty children. Still, if they were going to act like that - he was all too willing to play his part.  “You see, two of your agents’ digital footprints were caught all over my agencies files. It is so illegal to even attempt to access them that I could make them disappear and the President wouldn’t even tell me off.”   
  
Gibbs took a deep breath because how could they have been so stupid? “I am sure they didn’t realise.”   
  
“I don’t care. Looking for Agent DiNozzo could have seen him and a close friend of mine dead!”

Abby gasped. “We meant no harm.”   
  
O’Neill rolled his eyes. “They meant no harm, Davies.”   
  
“I have the NDA forms plus the agreement clause not to touch any other federal agency’s database without express permission ever again. Failure to comply will result in a black site drop as they have already had their one and only warning.” He said with his best bureaucratic voice. 

O’Neill asked lightly. “Which one are we favouring right now.”    
  
“Lunar one.”   
  
To the others - it sounded like a codename, only Jack and Davies knew it was actually the moon. After all, what better place to hide enemies of the state than on a place other than Earth. It was fitting if you considered it. “Nice.”   
  
“Sir, we can explain.” McGee tried to wheedle. 

O’Neill just stared at him. “There is no explanation you could give that would justify in any way, shape or form. Now, you are not part of my command so I can’t just shoot you and be done with it but I can and will blackball you in Washington if you so much sniff into Agent DiNozzo’s files ever again. Is that understood?” 

“Understood.”

“I’m done with you. Out.” McGee tellingly didn’t protest or stick around to help his so-called friend. He shot out of the conference room as quick as his legs could carry him. 

O’Neill could see that Gibbs wanted to ask something. “You got something on your mind, Gunny?”    
  
“Is he safe?”    
  
O’Neill huffed because he could see a protective glint and he knew that certain instincts never left the marines. “He’s surrounded by my best team but they needed him to blend. Now, do not think that I have forgotten you, Ms Scuito.”   
  
“He shouldn’t have run away from us.”  She insisted.   
  
O’Neill slammed his hands down on the desk. “And who the hell are you to defy the President of the United States? It was on his orders!”   
  
Abby had tears running down her eyes. She knew this wasn’t something she could slide out of trouble on. She looked to Gibbs but he looked just as furious. “I didn’t know.”   
  
“It was none of your business, you silly woman.”  O’Neill chided. He also made a mental note to quiz the Secretary of the Navy about what kind of ship he was running at NCIS. He was thinking there should be at least random psych checks. This was place was crazy and he was judging that coming from a place that had to repel alien invasions! “What I said to Agent McGee goes doubly for you. You’re a scientist so remember your goddamn ethics code.”

She signed her form, still pouting and looking like a sulky child. 

Vance just looked resigned. “I will reiterate and ensure that the agency changes its cyber policies.”   
  
“See that you do.”

Davies looked at his smartphone and looked up in alarm. “Sir, we need to go now. You have a two o’clock with General Landry.”   
  
“Right. Let’s go.”   
  
O’Neill waited until they’d exited the creepy orange place. He turned to his assistant and asked. “What the hell is going on?”    
  
“Everyone is a goa’uld in the village. The team are requesting the option to bug out and for special ops to come in and close the whole place down.”   
  
“What the hell? Why would anyone have a space conspiracy in Colorado  _ not  _ at the mountain.”   
  
Davies shrugged. “Shall I relay recon for the weekend and prepare for extraction Monday?”   


O’Neill nodded, it would have been a wasted mission otherwise. Of course, there was now a bigger question. 

_ Who the hell in Washington, had encouraged large-scale treason? _


	7. 7: Not so fun Weekend

  1. **Not so fun Weekend**



 

Tony and Cameron continued their jog through the town. They ignored the fact they had a tail as Tony was supposed to be one of the arrogant bastards. He still had the rock in his pocket that would hopefully fool the town residents. Tony did wave to acknowledge that both men were well aware that they had a tail. Sadly, they scowled but didn’t move away from stalking them.

The run was easy, a leisurely pace. The town on the surface looked just like any other small-town except for all the fancy gizmos. The place couldn’t lose its creepy Stepford vibe though, it was like they’d embraced and run with the cliche.

“We should head back.” Tony said, not wanting to stay out in the open for too long. 

“Agreed,” Cameron, with a wicked smirk, then added. “I wonder what’s for lunch.”   
  
“I hope your wife is cooking as between you and me,  _ David  _ can’t cook.” Tony finished with a fond grin, using Daniel’s cover name. He knew it wasn’t strictly true but it would sound good to anyone who felt like listening in. They were not naive and already knew they were being followed so they wouldn’t be having any serious conversations. 

Almost as if to prove a point, Warren Christie called Tony over, so they both jogged over. Their mantra this weekend should be  _ safety in numbers. _

“Hello, again. I didn’t meet your friend the last time.” Christie greeted them.   
  
Cameron didn’t realise that someone could make the word  _ friend  _ sound menacing but now he knew differently. He remembered he was playing the happily whipped husband, giving his best good ole boy smile.  “Yeah, sorry but the Missus wanted a drink and I am powerless against those eyes. She knows it too.”   
  
Christie’s smirk suggested otherwise but Cameron just smiled remembering he was supposed to be nishta influenced. All it meant was he could only imagine punching the idiot in his face. Right now, he would give almost anything for a zat gun.  

“Do tell your wife I will be popping by later she has some interesting ideas.” Christie informed them before walking off.    
  
Tony and Cameron waited until he waltzed off down the street. Cameron asked the most pertinent question. “Did he just make an almost pass at my wife?”    
  
Tony nodded because it looked that way to him. He did add conversationally. “There is a bright side though.”   
  
“I get to punch him?” Cameron said brightly. It would be expected of him if someone hit on his wife. 

“No, your wife’s reaction.” Tony finished dryly.

Cameron did think about what Vala would do if the slimy Christie did hit on her. There were so many scenarios and each was more amusing than the last. It might almost be worth it. Sadly, only time would tell if it would come to pass.

They’d all but agreed to stay inside Danny and Tony’s  _ house.  _ “We’re back.” Tony called out. 

“Did you enjoy your run?” Danny asked, kissing Tony in greeting. After all, they had to be mindful of the video surveillance. 

“Seems like we’re the curiosity, there were a couple of lurkers that seemed too shy to say hello.” Tony added. It was the polite way to say a couple of crazy goa’ulds had stalked their asses around town.

Vala smirked, understanding what was not being said. She pretended to be affronted. “Well, that’s just rude. They should say hello. Oh, Sweetie, I grabbed some clothes for you to change into.”

Cameron grinned sheepishly. “Thanks, what’s the occasion?”    
  
Vala rolled her eyes. “As you raced around town, Danny and I made plans of our own including dinner here and it seemed silly for you to go back to ours only to come back here.   
  
Tony shrugged. “That’s why women should run the world. Come on, I’ll show you where we can freshen up. Dinner smells delicious, by the way.”

“Flatterer.” Danny shouted. 

Tony’s smirk was suggestive but he didn’t forget to add. “Oh, and Dr Christie expressed interest in dropping by. He shouldn’t get any of the food though, it’s rude to invite yourself and we don’t want to encourage him staying.”

“Here, here.”

~*~

The dinner was lovely and the team was very aware that this was a hostile village for all its pretence of being idyllic. Prudence would suggest that Vala and Cameron should leave but there was no telling what had been done to their home once Christie was aware of who they were pretending to be. 

Tony had an idea, more of a stray thought but it would be easy to explain. “Why not watch a movie? Or do you still need to unpack?”   
  
Vala shook her head. “I think a movie to unwind sounds perfect. What do you think, Darlin? I might scream if I look at another box today.”    
  
Cameron chuckled because he didn’t disagree. They’d been very thorough in their cover creation.  They needed to look like they were moving into their new homes or they would raise suspicions. “Just nothing with body snatching, please?”   
  
Tony burst out laughing at the irony but he didn’t miss the chance to tease. “Okay, if you’re sensitive to that type of thing. No wonder you’re Air Force.”   
  
“Hey!” 

Tony shrugged unrepentantly like any marine would. It was practically gospel that the two branches would give each other shit. “So what shall we watch?”    
  
Vala wrinkled her nose. “Action?”    
  
Daniel knew where this was going. “Let me guess, Die Hard?”    
  
“I do like that movie.”   
  
Daniel got up to clear the plates away. Tony put the DVD in and the two couples curled up against each other. They were steadily drinking wine (non-alcoholic, not that it said on the label) through the evening and it just so happened, as a result, they fell asleep on the opposite couches. It would look to all the world that they just fell asleep exhausted rather than ensuring they were watching each other's sixes. 

Tony woke to the door opening, Cameron and the others did as well but despite their instincts - only Cameron and Tony pointed a weapon. 

Tony asked with an arched eyebrow. “Can we help you? I think you have the wrong house.”   
  
Cameron snorted. “Can I shoot them?”    
  
Danny peered around Tony. “What the hell? Just because you’re my boss it does not give you the right to invade our home.”   
  
Christie and his friend held their hands up. “Sorry, my friend and I were just dropping off a new house-warming gift. The front door was open, we just wanted to leave it on the table with a note.” He was feigning embarrassment but there was obviously more to it. Danny popped it onto the table. “Well, thanks, and I will see you at work, I promised Anthony the weekend.”   


Christie had no choice but to retire. The team were under no illusion that their slumber party was now foiled. Tony left the item on the table, they all now knew full operational control was in action. There would be no using their own names, no downtime at all. They didn’t need to speak to each other to know this would be the case. 

Vala pouted. “Well, I guess we will pop back home now my rest has been disturbed. You do make an excellent pillow sweetie.”   
  
Danny sighed. “I guess he is going to be a hard-ass boss.”   
  
Tony shrugged. “I know Gunnery Sergeants who are worse.” And Tony wasn’t lying as Gibbs was an asshole. 

~*~   
  
Danny and Tony got ready for bed, quietly, neither had shaken their encounter. They had one more day to survive in creepsville but Tony didn’t trust the gleam in Christie’s eyes. It was psychotic and a man facing a new challenge all wrapped in one. 

“So that was fun.”   
  
Tony slipped naked into bed. He was also pissed at the surveillance as he liked to sleep naked but he didn’t like the idea of a voyeur watching. He wouldn’t kink-shame but it was not his thing. “Yeah, not so much. Will you be mad if I got blood on the carpet?”    
  
Danny chuckled. “You’d be cleaning up so why would I care?”    
  
“True.”

Tony heard a buzz on his very small iWatch that served as a notification. It was a simple way to show the communication from the SG. He looked at the table next to the bed and he saw the gifts materialise. 

He had been acquainted with the weapons and what he saw looked like hand jewellery. Tony smiled at the Zat gun as that would certainly level a fight. He would give it to Vala as she had the most experience with this. Daniel sighed, seeing the hand-device. He knew it would open up a can of worms for Vala - he just hoped it wouldn’t be necessary.

They went to sleep, not a deep one but would at least be restorative. 

~*~

Vala was knocking on the door loudly. “David, Anthony, please open up.”   
  
Vala all but collapsed through the door when it opened. “They’ve taken Cam.”   


_ Well fuck - there goes their get-out-of-dodge-unharmed aim.  _


	8. Going to War

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: Cameron is currently in the hands of a goa'uld - so canon level of torture will now ensue

**Ep 8: Going to War**

 

Tony groaned because this was going to hell in a handbasket even quicker than he expected. They needed a plan and for that, they needed information. “Okay, so we know Christie probably has him.”   
  
Danny took a deep breath and remembered he was supposed to be Nishta influenced. “Why would Christie take him?”    
  
Vala sighed, looking less angry and now more resigned. “Leverage. He must want you for a very specific reason. They don’t trust how friendly we’ve become which is ridiculous.”

Tony looked at Vala and his lover. “So if it is David they want ... it will be his language acumen.”

Vala was still mad. “I’ll be showing them acumen if they’ve harmed a hair on his head.”   
  
Tony raced up the stairs shouting. “Be right back.” He’d not forgotten the little gift package that had been beamed in. “Gifts.”   
  
Vala would normally shrink away from a hand device. It was a terrible reminder of all the torture Qetesh would mete out using her body. She hated the device but she was not foolish enough to throw away an advantage. “I can’t promise to be civil - they have my Cameron.”   
  
Danny looked up with a smirk. “I never said you had to be civilized.”   
  
Tony nodded in agreement. “Me, I’m all about getting the job done. Not fussy about it being civilised either. I blame my drill sergeant.”

“Let’s go and have a chat with Christie. We need answers and I sense he is the one with them.” Vala said with a grin that was just the wrong side of the feral. 

~*~

 

Vala looked at Danny. “You should come with us.” She was aware he was paying the Nishta influenced husband but she didn’t like the idea of splitting up and giving the creepy boss a chance to snatch a second hostage.

He simply said. “Okay, do I get a gun too?” 

Tony flipped over his second side arm. One of the best things about having a cover as a Marine - no one thinks twice about him having multiple firearms. “Here you go, sweetheart.”   
  
Danny chambered a round and slid it carefully down the back of his trousers. He wasn’t an amateur and this wasn’t a game but he wouldn’t go in unprotected. He had a resigned look on his face. “Let’s go talk to my boss.”   
  
Vala led the way being flanked by Tony and Danny. It made sense as Vala had the most experience with the Goa’uld and the reworked versions of their legends suggested that Tony was her muscle. 

“If I was a lying snake ... where would I hide my man?”    
  
Tony snorted knowing that Vala’s character let her get away with so many things that mere mortals wouldn’t get away with. “I vote head to the head office and ask  _ politely.” _ _   
_ __   
Vala cocked her head to the side, knowing that this part of the conversation was solely for the benefit of the video now doubt being recorded by the creepy gift. “Why politely?”    
  
“It is what humans do.” Tony remarked patiently. 

“That’s overrated. Me, I am to misbehave.” Vala finished.    
  
Tony vowed if she hadn’t already seen it, to marathon Firefly with Vala. “I like your style, it’s why we work so well together. Onwards and upwards?”    
  
~*~    
  
The building holding the science innovation looked like all of the post-modern scientific structures. They waltzed over to the blonde receptionist, who thought flashing her eyes would intimidate them.  _ Bless. _

Vala smiled but it wasn’t reaching her eyes. “Director Christie has an appointment with me.”   
  
The receptionist checked her diary. “No, it doesn’t say that here.”   
  
Vala chuckled huskily. “My dear, you misunderstand. Mr Christie will make the time to see me, or, he will find out just what I am capable of.”

“You threaten us, in our own town?” The receptionist hissed, amazed at the gall of the outsider. 

Vala snorted. “He has my husband and I am rather fond of him. He has five minutes to get here and tell me why, or I leave and then make it my life’s ambition to ruin him. Go and ask him what Quetesh is capable of because she taught me everything she knew.”   
  
And Vala wasn’t lying. She’d been the host of the bitch for so long that she had truly learnt every horrific thing possible about manipulating and torturing. 

The receptionist knew the name - they all would. “I’ll see if he is available.”   
  
“You do that.”   
  
Tony waited until she scurried away. “I think you scared her.”   
  
Vala pursed her lips. “She is lucky that she is just the messenger.”

Tony smirked, knowing just what she meant. Danny looked alarmed but Tony knew his lover would catch on. “Well, they will know how we act now.”   
  
Danny’s eyes widened a little but he’d caught the implication. After all, they are still technically undercover. This was a long weekend and Danny couldn’t wait for it to be over. Vala shrugged. “I am done hiding.”

Tony snorted as that much was evident. He wondered if she realised how much of her feelings for the team leader were real. He would let her confront that realisation at the right time. For now, they would focus on collecting Cameron from the bad guys. 

~*~

Cameron, meanwhile, woke up with a groan. The dull thud at the back of his skull told him that someone had rendered him unconscious. He groaned again, his captors would think it was in pain. In reality, it was because he knew Vala would tease him about being captured yet again. He honestly might end up taking the record from Danny at this rate. The few seconds he had to mentally come around were a mistake on the part of his captor. 

He remembered what he was supposed to be and started to go through the mental exercises that helped a soldier maintain their mind through torture. He hadn’t had to pull on these skills for a while.

“Where’s my wife?” He asked, voice croaking, so the bastards had drugged him as well. It was the only thing that would explain the cottony taste in his mouth - chloroform.   


“She is no doubt waking up to find you missing. I am sure she will be beside herself. I will return you to her ... I just have a few questions.” Christie informed him as if he was a reasonable person. Only - he’d never had a reasonable conversation when strung up with rope at angles to contort his joints.   


Cameron winced as his arms were tied at just the right angle to cause pain in his joints. “You could ask like a normal person, you know.”

“You wouldn’t have a reason to tell me the truth without being compelled.”   
  
Cam sighed, he’d have moved to alleviate the pressure but knew it would make it worse in the long run. “You know, it has been proven that torture means you only get the truth about forty percent of the time.”   
  
Christie sneered. “My methods are a little more effective.”   
  
Cameron played clueless. “I’m just a pilot. I have no idea what you are talking about.”

“Oh, you are more than that. Your wife wouldn’t marry such a simple man.” Christie said, in such a smug way that he couldn’t bear the thought he was wrong.    


Cameron sighed. “Shouldn’t you be asking my wife?”    
  
Cameron did expect the smack to the cheek he got but it still stung. This guy might be a goa’uld but he was crap at interrogations. “Ouch. If you hit me, how can I answer?”    
  
Christie paused for a moment. “You’re very calm.”   
  
Cameron would have shrugged if he’d had the mobility. “Well, I have to say that the drug you gave me is making me feel funny. It would sell so well on the streets.”   
  
If he needed to go with the old trope of faking a drug reaction - he would. The only thing stopping him was he was hoping to learn something - giving a silver lining to the FUBAR situation he was in. It wouldn't be his first plan but he trusted his team to be looking for him.

“What was your intention here?” Christie demanded. 

“To fly planes because the fucking air-force wouldn’t let me but right now ...” Cameron hissed as the muscles cramped. 

“You’re lying.” Christie shouted.   
  
“Only my wife is allowed that close to my face.” Cameron said with a demented grin. There was a knock at the door that froze proceedings. Christie was definitely not expecting an interruption considering the growl as he stalked toward the door.    
  
“What?”    
  
It was a female voice. Cameron couldn’t see her but she sounded young. “The wife is here demanding access to her husband and... Kinsey is demanding an update report.”

Cameron had a name - of course, it would be Kinsey. Now the only question that remained was he a snakey politician, or, a genuine goa’uld. It would be hard to tell with his character if and when he was implanted with a symbiote. This was perfect though - proof and investigation of the link might be enough to finish off the Teflon-coated politician. 

~*~    
  
Vala was waiting for the Head of this stupid little town to appear so she could get some answers. He stormed overlooking furious at his summons. Too bad, he shouldn’t have messed with Cam. 

“You have something that belongs to me!” Vala said without preamble. 

“Now, you all work for me.” Christie reminded her. 

She shook her head. “No, I don’t and Terminus is rethinking letting his husband come to work on Monday, aren’t you?”    
  
“Damn straight.”   
  
Christie looked into the eyes of all three and he shivered. They were not what their records suggested. He’d miscalculated and he knew it. They were dangerous in ways that he couldn’t predict. He should have done more research.

“I need Dr Jacobs.”   
  
Tony shook his head. “There is no way in hell that David will be coming to work. How do I know you won’t question him like Vala’s husband?” 

“I need his language skills.”   
  
Vala had had enough and Tony raised the Zat as she raised the hand device. “I am done with playing. You will take me to my husband and if he is injured you better hope you can heal him or I will return the damage ten-fold.”   
  
“What leverage do I have?” Christie paled, he was furious that he’d let the pair get the drop on him. His own bodyguards were useless as they couldn’t act in this situation. This made the situation all the more unpalatable as he’d be seen as weak. 

“What the hell do you need leverage for?”    
  
Christie thought just maybe he had an inkling of hope. “Let me show you?”    
  



	9. 9: Give him back!

  1. **Give him back**



 

Tony wondered just what could promote the leader to such a course of action. He was desperate for something - that much was clear. Tony didn’t care what the hell he was offering - the goa’uld had taken his friend and he was not the type to bargain with terrorists so, he prompted things along. “Yeah, Vala isn’t going to go anywhere until she has her husband.”

Vala’s nodding head and non-wavering hand showed just how serious she was. In fact, she added lightly. “Let’s lose the other people. I think we should have a private conversation.”   
  
Christie shook his head. “No, you will kill me.”   
  
Vala threw back her head and laughed. “I haven’t decided, yet. Seeing my husband alive would greatly improve your chances though.”

Daniel yanked the fire alarm by his side. “Oops. I think you have a fire starting.”

Christie grimaced as he was hoping to create his own distraction. The workers were getting out of the dangerous facility as one might expect. He could shout but this was a situation rapidly spinning out of control. He didn’t want others to know - a report of failure of this magnitude could result in his death.  Right now, there were his three newest town members and his guards. 

He spoke with honesty. “Your husband has only minor damage. He was reticent to answer my questions.”

Vala stare bore holes into his head. “Define minor and there is no way you’re putting your hands anywhere near my husband.” She said with malice dripping in his voice.

Tony decided to even the playing field as the bodyguards were bothering him. Right now they were standing there awaiting orders if Christie freaked out they could be in an unnecessary gunfight. His reading on the weapon said that the first shot would disable, not kill. “To disable or not to.” It was vague enough to confuse Christie but not his team.   
  
“Go right ahead.” Vala said not taking her eyes off Christie. 

Tony grinned and fired once at the four bodyguards who’d stood frozen. It was nothing personal but there was no way he was allowing potential threats to his personage. The shots had the added effect of people scurrying away from the building. Oh well, it was not like they intended to stick around once they’d got Mitchell back. 

Daniel had moved over to the unconscious goons and was zip tying them. “Are you going to take us to our friend, yet? Or should he shoot you too?” 

Tony’s grin suggested that he was more than okay with that option. Vala just raised one eyebrow. “What’s it going to be, you snivelling rat?” 

“He’s through here!”

~*~

Vala approached the door first knowing that Tony and Danny had her back. If needed she could blast the idiot into the wall. The only thing stopping her from doing it was she didn’t want to expend her energy in case Cameron needed healing. She caught her first glance and he was slumped forward, blood running down his cheek. 

“Oh Darlin, he’s made a mess of you.” She said gently cutting through the ropes. 

Cameron’s head shot up hearing her voice. “He doesn’t like you V’.”

Vala shot a sneer at the cowardly director. “I am not too fond of him either, right now. Stay still.”   
  
Cameron had already slumped against her side, almost unresponsive as it was - the drugs and the beating, whilst not mortal injuries, had slowed him down. He would need help if they were going for an immediate extraction.

Vala moved the device over him, just using it as a diagnostic, to begin with. Vala growled at her companions.  “If he moves - kill him.”   
  
Tony nodded. “With pleasure, you just heal Cam.”

She looked determined as she moved the hand device over her friend. “Come on, let me see those baby blues.”

Cameron groaned and opened his eyes. He felt infinitely better than he had a few moments ago. “Hey, this is not my fault and at least I kept my pants this time.” He proclaimed.    
  
Vala snorted and patted his cheek fondly. “Only I can take your pants, sweetie.”

Tony guessed there was a story there because Danny was also smirking. He would find out when they were out of this creepy place.   
  
As glad as he was that Mitchell was okay, they still had a snakey director and a mystery they needed to solve. Tony reminded them. “Hey, we need to find out why this bastard took him and what the big deal is in the first place.”

Vala huffed, focussing all her attention back to Christie. “I might just shoot him in the foot unless it is an awesome treasure.”   


Christie was now just in saving-his-life mode. If he could get out of the building alive he had a ship hidden that he would use to escape this godforsaken rock.  “It’s technology I can’t work and no one can. We don’t know why but we were told to fix it or face termination.”   
  
Danny frowned as there were not many alien technologies that couldn’t be used. “Show us.”

  
~*~    
  


Christie led them down an empty hallway. The building was in evacuation mode which at least made this bit easier. Tony figured they’d come up with an exit strategy once they knew just what the hell had brought them to goa’uldsville in the first place. 

The three were led to a massive warehouse-style room. It was bleak but standing perfect and in the middle of it was a sleek and beautiful ship. The ship was almost familiar - it looked a lot like the puddle jumpers used in Atlantis and Daniel gasped. “Oh, Jesus.”   
  
Christie rolled his eyes. “Not quite. My ship won’t work and I want to know why.” He may be down but he was clearly frustrated by the idea of the ship not working.   
  
Danny and Vala shared a look as it didn’t matter how many people looked at the ship. It was never going to work unless they had the Ancient Gene. Danny had also theorised that the goa’uld would never be allowed to operate the ship - ever. It was like the ultimate safety feature built into the technology by the ancient race - a genetic key. 

Tony wasn’t say anything right now, and that was because he was struggling to concentrate. There was a pull from the ship that was freaking him the fuck out. It was like the ship wanted to fly for him. That was seriously crazy. 

Danny gave him a look and Tony just looked at the ship and shrugged. Danny’s eyes widened as he had a crazy thought. He should have checked the bloodwork for the gene but they’d been so focused on the mission itself. It had massive implications if Tony was an ancient gene carrier. 

“Go ahead, love.” Danny said.

Vala cocked her head to the side. “What?”    
  
Danny smirked. “I don’t think we’ll need a ride to leave.”   
  
Vala grinned. “Oh, really.”   
  
The ship lit up like a Christmas tree. The gig was up and they didn’t care now about their cover. Mitchell was the first one to say what they were all thinking. “Who forgot to mention the gene? And how the fuck did the trust get an Ancient ship?”

Christie knew he’d missed something - they knew too much. These people were not who they said they were. “Who are you?”   
  
Vala shot him into the wall and he slumped, dazed shock still evident on his face. The others looked at her in surprise and she shrugged unrepentantly. “What? I can’t stand his voice.” 

They couldn’t disagree with her reasoning. Plus, this way General O’Neill had someone he could interrogate. Although Cameron was sure he shouldn’t be encouraging her. Oh, who was he kidding - he was just annoyed that he couldn’t hit Christie himself. 

Danny and Tony just dragged the idiot onto the ship. Vala looked all over the controls. “Is this an earth version of the Atlantean ship?  

Once they’d dumped Christie in the corner, hogtied up so he couldn’t cause any mischief, Tony just asked the most pertinent question.  “Why is it talking to me in my head?”    
  
“That’s the strangest thing this weekend?” Danny asked amused. 

Tony gave his lover a dark look. “You’re not as funny as you think you are.”   
  
Danny’s smirk suggested he thought otherwise. However, he read the symbols on the ship. “Tony, come here. This is the pilot's chair.”   
  
“You remember the bit where I am a Federal agent and not a pilot, right?” Tony asked sarcastically.    
  
Cameron chuckled. “Okay, let me talk you through it.”   


Tony listened and absorbed what he was told. It helped that the ship was like an eager puppy. A virtual screen popped up showing flashing red dots. Tony pointed at them. “Bad guys at twelve o’clock.”   


Vala had an eager grin. “This thing has weapons and a cloak?”   
  
Tony got the mental equivalent of a nod. He wondered what type of weapons they had on board. After all, he was new to spaceships. As a result of his mental musings, he was greeted with a page of weapons. “Which one?” 

Mitchell had the mad glint of a fighter pilot. “That one. Have we gone dark?”    
  
“Yes, we have a cloak.” Tony replied, wondering how this was his life. 

Mitchell remembered what they’d said previously. “Hit there.” Pointing to a part of the wall with the least dots. The people were hosts without permission, the SGC would do their best to save as many as possible. Tony mentally asked the ship to do just that and the pulse weapon fired. He couldn’t help himself but he needed to do it. “I have got to get me one of these.”   
  
Vala laughed raucously at his comment. “Only you, Sheppard and O’Neill could even operate this.” 

Tony snorted because he wasn’t sure thinking things should count as operating the machine. “So who wants to phone home so we can get the hell out of here and close this whole place down?”    
  
Mitchell snorted. “Intercom?”    
  
Tony shrugged but thought about it, letting his instincts keep guiding him as that was what seemed to be working for him so far.    


“Stargate Command - this is Lt Colonel Cameron Mitchell. Alpha - 1345632. Confirm.”   
  
There was a crackle. “This is Landry. Go ahead. You were supposed to wait for extraction on Monday.”   
  
Mitchell sighed. “Yeah, change of plans. The Trust had a new version of an Alteran ship and decided to try and beat some answers out of me. We’ve escaped using the ship going dark but we’re waiting for authorisation to return to base.”   
  
“You’ve stolen another ship, Vala?” A new female voiced asked in obvious amusement. 

Vala pouted. “Oh no, you can blame Danny’s boytoy for this one. It will only work for him anyway.”

_ “You have a lot of explaining to do.” _


	10. 10: New Horizons

**10: New Horizons**

 

The SGC was abuzz with excitement. They were aware that SG1 and a guest were returning. They were doing it in style if the gossip was to be believed - and with a prisoner. No one was quite sure how SG1 managed to always have such exciting missions. 

O’Neill had even come back to the SGC itself because of this mission. There were all kinds of rumours flying around about snakes, Kinsey, Science and a new guy. 

One thing you soon learned at the mountain was the truth was nearly always wilder than the rumour.  Although, maybe in this case not so much as O’Neill walked past them with Carter and Landry. “Come on, we’re going to Peterson and I want to see what new toy Agent DiNozzo is bringing back for us.”   
  
“We’re not giving him back are we?” Carter said astutely. 

O’Neill snorted because that was an understatement. “The agent who helped break a goa’uld conspiracy, and brings me a live one to interrogate as well as a ship. No. We’re not giving him back. NCIS will have to deal with it because the President agrees with me.”   
  
“How do we know he’ll stay?” Carter asked because she’d done the research on Danny’s boyfriend at the behest of General Landry who’d wanted it handled sensitively. All the reading and reports she’d collected suggested he was loyal to Gibbs.   
  
O’Neill gave his genius a look because she sometimes missed the easy solution. “Daniel works here, you remember that.”

Carter had a dawning realisation seeing where he was going. “Sneaky.”   
  
“Comes with the stars on the shoulder.” O’Neill responded with his patented smirk. He didn’t say anymore as they were at work. They’d been allowed to marry but on the understanding that they kept it strictly professional. The President had said that considering they’d managed to save the earth both together and separately it was petty to not let them marry - plus he didn’t want to run the risk of losing one or both of them.   
  
Carter smiled and kept it to a light. “If you say so, Sir.”   


They said nothing else as they were both curious to find out what was going on. Landry sighed. “I will stay here and coordinate the dismantling of the science village.”   
  
~*~   
  


Back in the ship, Tony was getting used to the fact that he was flying a spaceship  _ with his mind.  _ It was a statement that kept bouncing around in his head and, _ wow, _ it was still not getting old. His weekend was definitely getting stranger. “This is some life.” He remarked to his boyfriend because if this was a taster, he wasn’t sure he wanted to give it up.   
  
Danny smiled softly. “It’s not bad.”

Tony chuckled because considering Danny could speak so many languages that were overly simplistic. “Not bad? It’s crazy in the best possible way.”   
  
Mitchell sat down next to him and spelt out a few facts for him. “About that, you have the ancient gene proficiency which means that even if you wanted to, returning to NCIS would be ... unlikely.”

Tony didn’t mind too much leaving NCIS. It was time and he’d been thinking about it for a while. He’d got a taste of the SGC and knew he could do good there. “That’s fine with me but how would I fit into the structure?”    
  
Mitchell shrugged as that was above his pay grade. “We often have independent contractors and besides, it’s not like we couldn’t do with an investigator. As you can see we have a slight issue with shady organisations.”   
  
Tony looked over at Christie. “Yeah, you do. You need to figure out how Senator Kinsey links to him.”   
  
Mitchell snorted. “You and me both.” The view screen showed Peterson on the far horizon. Seeing they were close, Cameron touched the communicator in his ear. “Command, this is Mitchell. Is the bay prepared for landing?”    
  
“This is O’Neill ... we’re ready for you. Come on, Mitchell, I want to see this new shiny ship.”   
  
Tony chuckled. “Let me land it in one piece first.”   
  
“You better not scratch it, DiNozzo.” O’Neill warned him. 

Tony huffed. “Hey, I’m an investigator, not a damn pilot.”

Mitchell snorted more than aware of how this could go if this carried on unchecked. “Sir, respectfully, can we let Agent DiNozzo focus on not crashing?”    
  
“O’Neill out.”

Daniel was watching Tony as he concentrated. It was an intriguing sight. He was sure most people would be freaking out at the idea of a talking ship, or spaceships full stop, but not Tony. No, his lover had taken to Vala and treated her like she was a real person and not the character she played up. He’d worked with the team and done his level best to use each and every one of his skills to keep them safe. It was flattering and quite sexy if he was being honest.

~*~

 

O’Neill watched as the team disembarked. Vala walked down the ramp first. “That was fun and we brought you back a guest. Sorry, he is unconscious but he laid hands on Mitchell and was rude.” She then shrugged. “I got grumpy,” as if that was a perfect explanation.     
  
O’Neill watched as DiNozzo and Mitchell between them were hauling their unconscious prisoner off the ship that was powering down as DiNozzo left the ship. Danny was bringing up the rear by keeping a weapon trained on their prisoner just in case he was faking. You could never be too careful and O’Neill was glad to see just how paranoid they were. 

“You won’t make friends if you keep knocking them unconscious.” O’Neill remarked with a smirk.

Danny rolled his eyes because really, his best friend should be the last one to lecture them about knocking out a goa’uld. “Forgive me but aren’t you the one who’s known as the scourge of the Goa’uld?”    
  
Jack smiled because he’d come by that title honestly. “Hey, that was a title I earned fair and square.”   
  
“Exactly,” Danny said smugly. “So you shouldn’t be throwing stones.”   
  
O’Neill pouted. “Hey, I gave you a weekend in the suburbs with your boyfriend.”   
  
Tony could play this game and sassed right back. “And we thank you, General. It could have done without the crazy snakes though.”

“Well, no-one’s perfect and it was the thought that counts.” O’Neill remarked. 

Vala snorted. “Oh no, Tony is perfect for dismantling these naughty snakes. We are dismantling them, right? They laid hands on my Mitchell.”   
  
O’Neill snorted, wondering when his Colonel would catch up to the fact he’d just been publicly claimed as off-limits. “If I remember right ... you kidnapped him.”   
  
Vala shrugged. “I’d lost my excuse and the most I did was take his pants.”   
  
Mitchell had the grace to blush but really, there were extenuating circumstances. “Can someone secure the prisoner? We need to go through a checkup before our debriefing.”

O’Neill had to have the last word, the stars on his shoulder gave him that right. “Pants? Colonel Mitchell?”    
  
Cameron groaned. If people kept teasing him he was never going to make it to General.

~*~   
  
O’Neill was looking at Danny’s boyfriend - no, that wasn’t a fair description. This man was capable of doing a great deal and brought some new skills to the mix. That didn’t mean he didn’t have men and women to perform investigations but what he didn’t have was the natural flair for it. Plus, there was the ability to handle both civilians and service personnel with ease. 

“Well, go do your thing, Agent DiNozzo.”   
  
DiNozzo didn’t blink like the others did, he just wished for clarification. After all, he’d done more than his fair share of interrogations so it would fall to him.  “What’s your main priority?”    
  
O’Neill was impressed and he liked the fact he was building his strategy before he went into the room. “The security of the project?”    
  
“Okie dokie.” Tony replied. He reached into his pocket and chucked the Naquadria at Daniel. “Keep hold of that.”

The whole SG team moved closer to the observer window watching the show that was about to unfold. They’d read the reports. Jack knew that the man had got the best of Eli David and that did appeal to him. He wanted to see just how cunning his new recruit could be. Oh, and how much he was going to rub Vance’s face in it when he saw him next.

~*~   
  
Tony waltzed into the room like he owned it. He’d heard from everyone and seen firsthand how much they thought they were gods on earth. He was going to change that, slowly, chipping away the facade. 

“So, hi. We didn’t really have a real introduction before.” Tony greeted as he sat down like he owned the room.   
  
Christie hissed in shock realising something pivotal. “You dared to pretend to be one of us.”

Tony snorted. “It wouldn’t be the first time. I’ve duped mob bosses ... you were easy and much less paranoid.”   
  
“You’ve ruined everything.” Christie all but whined.    


Tony shrugged because he didn’t really care. He did start the prodding to make sure he found the truth. “So what exactly did I ruin?”   
  
Christie obviously needed to vent. “Everything, the whole operation, Kinsey and I had it running smoothly and because of you. It’s all gone.”   
  
Tony smirked. “It wasn’t just me.”   
  
“Yes, you have the other goa’uld.”   


Tony had what could only be a shit-eating grin. “Nope, former. She duped you too. Don’t take it personally though, she is a professional at it too. You just lost out to a higher calibre of agent.”   
  
Christie sneered. “We were running a network to give technology to your stupid country. You shouldn’t have interfered. You are a soldier - you should know better.”   
  
Tony cocked his head to the side. “So what did you get out of it? That’s what I don’t understand. I mean you are a big bad goa’uld and you were answering to a snakey politician.” Tony paused. “Sorry - was that offensive to your species? I don’t want to be insensitive. I might get the DOD lady again.”

Christie held his head high. “You think you are so funny and I got money and the ship was my major payment.”   
  
“Wait. The ship you couldn’t fly?” Tony asked, his voice barely restraining his laughter. This was too good. So not only was Kinsey a snakey politician he had also sold him a broken ship that he assumed wouldn’t work. “So how’s that working for you?”    
  
“It didn’t. You know that you are a worthless Shol’va.”   
  
Tony smirked. “You know when you want to insult them you should pick a language they know ... otherwise, the comment is a waste.”   
  
“Do you have an answer for everything?”    
  
Tony’s grin grew because really if you fed him lines then he was morally obliged to take it. “Usually, yeah.” 

~*~

Sam couldn’t help but remark on DiNozzo’s last comment. “He’s like your mini-me, sir.”   
  
“I never wore designer suits.” O’Neill responded but he could see what she meant. He wasn’t quite like him but he did seem familiar, he turned to Danny because a few things started to add up in his mind. “What was his mother’s name?”   
  
Danny nodded wondering at the look on his friend’s face. “Claire. Why do you ask, Jack?”   
  
“And her maiden name?” O’Neill asked trying to stay calm about it.   
  
“Paddington.”   
  
Jack stared at the observation room and his mind was whirling. The details were starting to firm up, he might have another son. This was too damn weird. The gene, the snark, the use of the masks and the fact that he’d slept with a Claire Paddington during their sojourn to the past. “Carter, get Doctor Lam here now, bring my file and DiNozzo’s.”

Daniel’s mind always worked quicker than anyone else's and had already connected the dots. “Oh, Christ. Seriously, Jack?”

Jack looked sheepish. “Possibly. So, Carter, what do you think to a Stepson and Space-Monkey as a stepson-in-law?”   
  
“That’s the way our life rolls.” Carter could see it and she wasn’t mad at Jack as they’d fought so long and hard to get to where they were. She smirked. “Well, he’s fully grown and about to be married off so I’m sure I can deal.”   
  
“I haven’t asked him yet.”    


The ease between the original members of SG1 hadn’t been lost even after all these years. “Yet? So you intend to ask.”   
  
Daniel frowned. “You’re not going to make this weird, are you?”   
  
Jack smiled at his friend. “I wouldn’t do that to my best friend, would I?” 

“In a heartbeat - it _ is _ how you show you care.”   
  
“True.” 

Daniel groaned because this was just the type of luck to happen to them. In a fitting way, it made sense. “Let’s get this confirmed and take each day as it comes, yeah?” 

Carter laughed at the blase comment of,  _ “Usually, yeah.” _

~*~

Back in the interrogation room, Christie shrugged. “I have powerful backers. They will see me released.”   
  
Tony threw his head back and laughed. “Wow, your arrogance knows no bounds. Let me explain the situation to you in little words. The program is so secret and high-level that sharing its secrets, and that includes the technology, means you get disappeared as a matter of course ... Well, unless you can give me something useful that I can take to the boss.”   
  
Christie looked around the room. He saw the room that could very easily lead to his cell. He was not naive because there was only one thing that would give him a chance - trading information. “All I want is to get off this godforsaken rock.”   


Tony rolled his eyes. “We call this rock, Earth, and it’s our home. Now start talking or I leave saying I tried, and go have dinner with my partner.”   


“Just like that?” 

Tony shrugged. “I figured you either will talk or won’t. I know torture is useless against you and even if I did try it, the information would be useless. So what is your choice?”   


~*~

The room outside watched in shock at the fact the goa’uld was spilling everything. DiNozzo just asked the odd question to keep the account flowing. They listened as he explained how he took over the village all on the say-so of a group of men, the most recognisable being Kinsey. He then talked about the use of the naive symbiotes that were blank slates and would do as they were ordered. It left him as a manager with a perfectly docile workforce who followed every order without question. 

The couples who died were the ones who wouldn’t get with the program and for some quirk - didn’t accept the symbiote. As a result, in Christie’s twisted mind, they had to go. Tony sucked in a breath and held back his rant. He had answers that could eventually be given to the deceased families but what was more important here was to get a full account of the security breaches and how they occurred. 

Mitchell had returned with Vala in tow and by the looks of them, they’d settled their  _ intentions.  _ It didn’t need DiNozzo to intuit what rumpled clothes and red-stung lips meant. Good. That might make the tension go down a notch or two. 

“He got everything from Christie?” Mitchell asked surprised it had happened in only the time he was being checked over. He’d been so sure that the interrogation would take days. 

O’Neill nodded, obviously pleased by the result even he hadn’t expected it so quickly. “Oh yeah, he managed to appeal to Christie’s sense of self-preservation.”

“Huh. That would work.” Mitchell may look he’d stepped off a farm but he could sense the tension in the air. “What’s with all the twitchiness?”    
  
The original members all shared a look but it ended with O’Neill sighing. “I may have solved another riddle but you will know after it is discussed with the relevant party.” There was no way he was sharing this with anyone but Tony first. It wouldn’t be fair to him, or to Jack himself. They deserved a chance to do this right. 

“So how did I do?” Tony asked as he stepped back into the room. 

“Reassignment’s a sure thing, son.” Jack didn’t think about the words he uttered. He just accepted it as fact.

DiNozzo let out a relieved sigh. “Oh, good because it would have sucked to leave.”

Tony also picked up on the weird tension in the room and wondered what else was going on. He was guessing that crazy was a natural state of affairs so this was something else. “What’s going on?”   


Jack was a general and this was still going to be an awkward conversation. “I’d like the room, please. Send Dr Lam in.”

The Doctor wasn’t confused by why she was sent for - especially once the two specific files had been requested. If you understood genetics like she did, well, that genetic ATA gene was just too familiar to her, and after that, a simple test had confirmed her suspicions. She gave the general a swift nod to confirm his suspicions and offered. “I will be outside the door if I’m needed, General.”

Jack started to talk. “You know, working with the SGC is one of the best things in this galaxy but it’s not without its strange luck.”   
  
“Huh. I’ve already caught the pneumonic plague working in DC so ...”   


Jack took a deep breath because he was going to file that for a conversation for later.  “So no time travel?”    
  
“Nope, you?”   
  
Jack nodded. “Yeah, 1969 and I met an amazing woman who shared a cookie that I should have thought twice about.”   
  
Tony froze. “What was her name?”    
  
“A spitfire woman. Clare Paddington. You remind me of her.” Jack said softly. “We woke up the next morning not knowing if anything had happened. I, of course, had to get back to my time and she went on to live her life.”   
  
Anthony sighed, looking at the doctor. “Did I come by my gene honestly?”    
  
She nodded. “You actually have it from both General O’Neill and your mother.”   
  
Tony looked to the General and couldn't help the overwhelming sense of relief. “You know I always hated being a Junior and I always figured he hated my guts and it’s clear now that the reason why was that I wasn’t his.”

O’Neill was usually so quick with a remark. “I don’t know where to begin. I mean technically I could be chronologically your Dad as there are sixteen years between us.”

Tony spoke quietly. “I think we should get to know each other and let things develop.” He was letting the idea settle in his mind. It helped that Senior had not exactly been a father to him so it wasn’t like he had conflicting ideals. 

Jack took the opening for what it was a chance. “Just so you know I was teasing Danny earlier. He was worried I’d make it weird.”    
  
Tony rolled his eyes. “You were torturing my boyfriend before we even had it confirmed I was your son?”    
  
Jack smirked because it was a given that he would anyway. “Hey, I have been torturing my best friend since I met him. It’s how we communicate.”   


Tony chuckled. “Don’t be weird about it and scare him off. I can’t believe I am saying this to my Dad. I love the man stupid.”   
  
“Good, he does too.” Jack confessed.

  
  
~*~

Tony had asked to be beamed back to near Gibbs’ house. He had nothing valuable at the apartment in Washington. He did want to let Gibbs know what was happening. 

“Are you nervous?” Danny asked him. 

Tony shook his head, squeezing his hand. “No. This is right. I mean so many changes are happening but I feel like they’re the right ones.”   


Danny grinned. “And I’ll be there for all of them.”   
  
Tony was believing that and that was one of the things that was helping him to react in the right way. “So are you okay with the whole me and Jack thing?”   
  
Danny chuckled. “The fact that my best friend is your Dad is really not the weirdest thing to happen. He’ll do his best for you and that’s good enough for me. I will, however, expect your help to reign in his crazy.”   
  
“Who’s crazy?” Gibbs asked as he opened the door.    


Tony grinned. “My new boss, boss.”   
  
Gibbs sighed as he’d heard about the transfer just before he left work today. “Come on in, guys. And not your boss any longer, Tony.”   
  
Tony snorted. “Oh, I don’t know. I can’t forget what you taught me and it definitely kept me alive this weekend.”   
  
Gibbs smiled quickly, it was the blink and miss it pleased smile. Tony was glad to see if - it meant they were parting on the right terms. “So boss, the big thing is and I can’t impinge upon you how serious this is, none of them can even search or attempt to hack information about me.”   


Daniel piped up. “Yeah, if they do, they will disappear. You’re a Marine, you understand.”   
  
“Just how secret is this thing?”   
  
Tony shared a look with Danny and thought very carefully about his answer. What he did not want to do was set Gibbs and Jack on a collision course. “It’s a can of worms that should not ever be unleashed.”

Gibbs looked through him but Tony was equal to him. Gibbs must have seen all that he needed. “If you need me, call me.”   
  
“Same goes the other way, boss.”

_ There were so many things that had changed for Tony: he’d found a lover; he’d found new relatives; a new job. He couldn’t complain really ... of course, a space conspiracy turned into space grail quest and ensuring that Merlin let go of his fiance - but that was a whole new year.  _

  
  



End file.
